


Roses & Curses

by Katgotyourtongue



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Beauty & the Beast AU, Curses, Fluff, Gekijouban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare | Be Forever Yorozuya, GinHiji - Freeform, Happy Ending, Long-haired Hijikata Toshirou, M/M, Ponytail Hijikata, Romance, Twisting canon elements, fairytale AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26425117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katgotyourtongue/pseuds/Katgotyourtongue
Summary: Shiroyasha, hailed as one of the Four Heavenly Kings, died in battle during the Joui Wars.After the war, Kabukicho, a district that used to be filled with life, was now an abandoned ghost town, blocked off to the rest of the world. Word has it that a sorcerer made the cursed town his home during the war, killing those who dare to trespass by aging them rapidly, sucking the life out of them.Hijikata Toushirou, vice-commander of the newly appointed Shinsengumi, is sent to investigate the rumours.-----Beauty & the Beast x Be Forever Yorozuya AU (feat. Long-haired Hijikata Toushirou)
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Comments: 165
Kudos: 237





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write a fairytale AU for these two, and a Beauty & the Beast AU has been on my mind for the longest time. I really hope I do it justice!
> 
> Just stating some background here as I've changed certain things from canon:
> 
> Timeline: This differs from canon timeline. The fic should be self explanatory (I hope haha), but I will probably also specify this in a later chapter’s notes. 
> 
> White curse and the Enmi: To keep this fic closer to the fairytale nature of it, the white curse in this AU is not caused by nanobots in the bloodstream, but just...magic. The Enmi are a species of sorcerers, they’re not vessels for the nanobots. 
> 
> There will be around 11-16 chapters for this fic. I'm excited to start this project so hope you like it! ☺️

_Seven years ago_

Gintoki was exhausted. It was a tough battle, but he had finally defeated the Enmi.

The sorcerer’s last words played at the back of his mind as he stumbled his way back to the camp. What was it? Something about demons, solitude and love…

He scoffed. It was nothing the Shiroyasha hadn’t heard before. 

Still. 

He walked through the bodies of his fallen comrades. Men who had trusted him with their lives, yet he failed to save them. He stopped as he almost stepped on a flower lying in the middle of all the dead bodies. How did something so fragile not get crushed among all the chaos? He picked up the rose, absently thinking that all he had to do was close his fist and it would crumble to pieces. Something so beautiful had managed to stay untouched in the middle of tragedy. He felt a need to protect it. 

A strong wind blew past, signalling an oncoming storm. He could almost hear the echo of the Enmi’s final words carried through the wind that howled in his ears. A flash of lightning lit the sky. It cast a wicked glow on Gintoki who stood drenched in blood, in the middle of carnage, holding a single red rose. 

At that moment, he was the spitting image of a cursed demon holding on desperately to his last hope. 

* * *

_“_ _There you stand, soaked in blood,_

_The spitting image of a demon._

_Your cursed hands,_

_Turns all you love a pale shade of white,_

_The kiss of death._

_You will be left to howl in solitude, alone in this world,_

_For only one who can love a demon whose touch devours all,_

_Will break the curse.”_

* * *

_Present_

Hijikata Toushirou was drunk. He knocked back his...2nd, 3rd...maybe 8th shot? Whatever, today was the day to celebrate the Shinsengumi’s official appointment as the police force by the Shogunate. 

It had been about one year since he moved to Edo to start a new life with Kondo, Sougo and the rest of the men. After the Shogunate surrendered to the Amanto, they had sworn to use their sword to protect the country and moved from their village to the city. Even if they were called all sorts of names and were constantly targeted by those who supported the Joui, he had sworn to follow Kondo Isao, a man who would turn his back to protect even those who spat on him. 

It had taken them a few months to get anywhere, and he was pretty sure they would be tasked with meaningless things, but at least they were officially recognised, and that was the first step. 

He watched dazedly as Kondo started to take off his shirt and the other men cheered. Toushirou respected his commander and would give up his life for him, but why the hell the man had the need to strip every single time he got some alcohol in him was a mystery he had yet to solve. 

His head started to tilt to the side and his head felt a little woozy, maybe he really had overestimated himself. 

He stumbled his way towards the bar to get water. It felt way too far, was the bar always that far from the table? 

After tripping over himself more than once, he finally arrived and held the counter to keep himself upright. 

“Otose-san. Uhh...”

What was he here for again? Huh. The table looked pretty inviting, maybe he could lay his head down for a while. Just a little bit until the world around him stopped spinning. He sat down and removed the hair tie that held his hair up in a ponytail. His hair came loose and fell past his shoulders and down his back. He frowned, his hair had grown out a lot since he moved to Edo and stopped trimming it. Maybe he should consider cutting his hair soon as his long, wild hair would just get in the way of his job. 

“It would be a waste to cut that hair. Not all of us can have such nice hair anymore, you know?” 

Oh, he had said it out loud. He looked up to see the bar owner, Otose, looking at him as she took another puff of her cigarette and shouted at Catherine to bring a glass of water over.

Toushirou didn’t really know what to reply. “It’s not that nice, it’s messy and uneven," he mumbled, as he started playing with the ends of his hair. He laid his head on the table, his hair falling into his eyes as he remembered how much his mother used to love stroking his hair as he laid on her lap and she sang lullabies until he fell asleep. 

She had also loved to spend the morning braiding his hair and placing a rose in it as a finishing touch. She always called him beautiful and said that his eyes reminded her of the ocean. He didn’t understand why she loved his eyes and hair so much when she had the same blue eyes and dark hair, but as a child, he thought his mother was the most beautiful woman who ever existed. He continued to think that even when her hair started to fall out and her eyes ringed with dark circles as she grew weaker from her illness. So if he looked like her, then maybe he really was beautiful. Not that it mattered, she was still the most beautiful being in his eyes. 

The other kids used to stare and make fun of him when he walked down the street with a side braid and a red rose in his hair after his mother had gotten too weak to leave the house. He was confused when some eyes lingered on him for a bit too long, and when others looked at him with envy in their eyes, but he didn’t care. 

He ignored all the adults who looked at him with jealousy and picked a fight with the other kids for harassing him. 

After all, it wasn’t his fault that they didn’t have pretty roses growing outside their homes. 

When his mother succumbed to her sickness when he was still too young, and his brother adopted him, he had cut his hair short to look like a proper man of the Hijikata household. Though it hadn’t worked and they still treated him like trash that they had picked up. 

Only Tamegoro-nii had taken care of him. There were times when Tamegoro would ruffle Toushirou’s short hair, saying that it was a pity he had cut it because he had such pretty hair. Toushirou would pout and Tamegoro would pinch his chubby cheeks and assure him that his youngest brother was the still most adorable baby he had ever seen, no matter what style of hair he had. Toushirou always giggled and complained that he was no longer a baby and was all grown up as his brother lovingly scooped him up to his shoulders. He was happy to have just one person who loved him, even if everyone else cursed him. 

Toushirou was happy—until the attack happened.

His brother had lost his sight trying to protect him. Toushirou had gone wild when he saw his brother get hurt and lost himself to anger. Next thing he knew, he was covered in blood and surrounded by the bodies of the men who hurt his brother. His blinded brother had called out for him, reaching out to hold him even as blood dripped from his eyes, unable to see what Toushirou had done. The rest of the family had looked at him with fear, whispering, “demon…”, “I always knew that child was cursed,” “Now my poor Tamegoro has to pay the price for loving that demonic child.”

Amongst all the whispers, all Toushirou could think about was that the blood on his hands reminded him of the blood red roses his mother had loved so dearly. 

After he ran away from home, Toushirou grew out his hair again in honour of his mother and brother. As he grew older, he started to understand the meaning behind the lingering eyes and jealous stares, so he trained himself to use a sword to protect himself from random attacks. He got into a lot of fights when he sneaked around to steal food for survival or rejected unwanted advances. It was only when Kondo found him that he started to learn the proper way to wield a sword. Since then, he dedicated his life to following Kondo, and he never stopped learning the way of the sword. 

Though he usually put it up in a simple high ponytail, Toushirou also learnt to braid his own hair, imagining his mother’s and brother’s hands running through them lovingly. He wished he could feel their gentle hands just one more time...just once.

He jolted out of his thoughts as he heard the thud of a glass beside him. 

Oh yes, water. That was what he was here for. 

He mumbled an unintelligible thank you and gulped the entire glass down, thankful for some relief to his parched throat.

* * *

Otose just shook her head and looked at him with a fond smile. This group of men always came over and drank more than they could handle, but with the noise and laughter, they brought life into her quiet bar, and these moments always left her feeling nostalgic about the times before she had to leave her beloved Kabukicho.

Kabukicho. How lively that place once was. Her late husband and dear friend always drank at the bar they once used to own. During the war, it was a place where anyone and everyone gathered, no questions asked—as long as you were from Earth. The place once permeated with raucous laughter and the occasional bar fight. Some of the Joui Patriots used to stop by the bar during one of their many visits to the red-light district. The Four Heavenly Kings, they were called.

That was many years ago. Now Kabukicho was desolate. Empty. A district everyone who knew anything about Edo avoided. Rumours that a sorcerer lived there made its way through the mill. Word has it that he killed everyone who dared to approach him by turning time forward, cursing them to age rapidly and sending them to their deaths well before their time. Some said he was a rogue Amanto, others said he was here to bring judgement to the wicked, and rest said that he was just a conspiracy cooked up by the Shogunate to stop people from finding out about aliens.

The third made no sense considering that they were openly invaded by aliens who were now living among them, but there were still a handful of people who believed that of course. 

There was no end to the rumours. He was a myth, a legend. The only thing that was certain, was that all this started when one of the four heavenly kings, the Shiroyasha, was declared dead after the battle with an unknown enemy. 

Otose didn’t believe any of the rumours. Not even the official confirmation that Shiroyasha was dead. 

Of course she didn’t. She was the one who started them after all. 

* * *

“Hijikata-san, have you finally dropped dead?” 

Hijikata had decided to take a short nap at the bar counter after drinking the glass of water, hoping to sober up fast. He looked up to see Sougo staring down at him with a blank look on his face. He could never tell what the kid was thinking. They trusted each other with their lives, but Toushirou also wouldn’t take a drink from him for fear that it would be poisoned. 

They had a complicated relationship. 

“What do you want?” Toushirou grunted. 

“Kondo-san and rest have passed out, so I’m going back. Please take care of them.”

Toushirou took a while to process what Sougo said, and when he did, 

“Oi-!”

He called out, but Sougo was already gone, leaving him with the bill and a bunch of drunk idiots passed out. 

“Oh for fucks sake, that annoying brat is going to pay one day.”

“Toushirou, you can just leave these boys here.” 

“Ah Otose-san, is that really okay? I don’t want us to disturb the other customers.”

Otose just waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. You and the boys are the only ones here on most days anyway.” 

She took pity on Toushirou sometimes. He was always the one left to pick up after his rowdy comrades. He also always made sure to pay before leaving. He was a good kid, unlike a certain silver haired brat she knew.

“Thank you, Otose-san. I’ll come back tomorrow morning to kick these idiots out before you open.” 

With that, Toushirou left money on the counter and stumbled out of his seat, long hair flowing behind him as he couldn’t be bothered to tie it back up just to walk back to their quarters.

Otose sighed as she thought of the young man that once used to stumble out of the bar, trying to sneak out without paying. Loud and annoying, so different from the boy in front of her. He would be around the same age as Toushirou now, right? Maybe older. 

“Gintoki...” she thought, “I wonder how that boy is doing.” 

As she closed up for the night, Otose couldn’t help but think that Toushirou and Gintoki would have gotten along. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody who is not old is a kid to Otose-san, Because she is everybody’s unofficial mum haha. 
> 
> So this is going be a slightly longer fic compared to my other works. Hope you stay for the ride. ;)
> 
> If you would like to, feel free to let me know what you think!
> 
> \--------------  
> For fic updates:
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: [@curiouskatxx](https://twitter.com/curiouskatxx?s=09)
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [katgotyourtonguexx](https://katgotyourtonguexx.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata sets off on a mission to investigate the rumours in Kabukicho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support in the first chapter! I’m excited to get to the GinHiji bits and I hope this story meets your expectations. <3

* * *

“No.” 

“Toshi!” 

“I said no.” 

“Please, Toshi, we don’t have a choice.” 

“Why can’t we send Sougo or Yamazaki or someone who isn’t the commander or vice-commander?” Toushirou was furious. “Neither one of us should leave when the Shinsengumi just got formally appointed!”

“I know. But the Shogun himself signed off on the order. If we reject this mission when the Shinsengumi has just been appointed, it could place us at a risk.”

“Sadasada. That bas-”

“Toshi! Be careful about what you say! What if someone hears you?” 

“Only the Shinsengumi guys are here. His nephew seems like a decent guy, even pops says so.” Toushirou sighed, “But until Shigeshige takes over as Shogun, we will be the dogs of that heartless man. He might just order us to lick his feet one day and we will have to.” 

“Hijikata-san, if that happens, we can just send you. You’re good at it after all,” Sougo turned to Kondo and continued, “Kondo-san, I propose we offer Hijikata-san to him in exchange for the Shinsengumi’s relationship with the Bafuku.”

“Don’t just offer me up for marriage! And what do you mean I’m good at it? You picking a fight now?!” 

“You don't understand because you’re getting old, Hijikata-san. Your mental capabilities are failing. Maybe it’s time for you to step down as vice-commander.

“The Shinsengumi has barely even started and you’re already planning to take my position?” 

As usual, Sougo just gave him a blank look and said, “Yes.” 

This was going nowhere. Toushirou resigned himself to the orders. If he needed to go on a useless mission to secure Shinsengumi's position, he would do it.

“Kondo-san, what are the details again?” 

The mission was simple. The higher ups wanted Hijikata to investigate the rumours surrounding the sorcerer living in Kabukicho. They wanted to reclaim the district for expansion and development, but to do that, they had to know what exactly was going on there, and they had to get rid of whatever sorcerer was living there, if there even was one. 

Toushirou had to find out if the sorcerer even existed. If he did, he needed details on his powers, strength, and he had to get rid of him if the sorcerer was dangerous.

Considering that the rumours were probably false, it was more like to be a mission to get rid of him when the Shinsengumi was still barely secure.

The Bafuku ordered Hijikata to carry out the mission as it would be dangerous if the sorcerer really did exist, and he would have a higher chance against him. At least, that was their official reason.

But Toushirou was certain that they just wanted to get rid of him as they knew that he was the brains behind the Shinsengumi. He was always present with Kondo during discussions, and was the one who stopped the man from giving in to some of their demands. Without him present, Kondo’s kindness and naivety would get taken advantage of.

“Sougo, I want you to represent me if there are any meetings.”

“Sure. Don’t worry, when you die, I’ll be happy to take over as vice-commander.”

“What do you mean _when_ ? At least say _if_!” 

“Everybody dies one day, Hijikata-san.”

Toushirou rolled his eyes and looked at Sougo. They nodded when their eyes met, coming to a silent agreement. Their commander was a man with a soft heart who was able to bring a group of wily boys down a path that didn’t lead to their own self-destruction. Kondo Isao was the heart and soul of the Shinsengumi, and Sougo and Toushirou had made a promise a long time ago to be his sword and shield. 

If Toushirou wasn’t there, Sougo, who was a master of mind games, would ensure that Kondo was not manipulated. 

Sougo and Hijikata never actually made a verbal promise, they just knew what the other thought whenever it came to matters around Kondo and the Shinsengumi.

Like he said, they had a complicated relationship. 

* * *

Toushirou made his way back to Snack Otose. He decided to get one last drink before leaving for the mission. If the place really was as desolate as the rumours described, this would be his last drink in a while. He might also be able to pick up more information from gossip. 

Even though he knew about the rumours, he was still pretty new to Edo, so he wasn’t entirely familiar with the history. Otose has been around for a while, so she might be the best person to ask. How old was she anyway? It felt like she’s been alive forever. 

“What do you think about the rumours around Kabukicho?” Toushirou asked as he sipped on his glass of whiskey.

Otose raised her eyebrow as she took a drag from her cigarette, “Why the sudden question?” 

Toushirou shrugged. “I’ve only been in Edo for a few months, and I’ve heard some rumours about some wicked sorcerer living in Kabukicho who kills people by turning them old. Sounds like bullshit to me.” 

Otose tapped the cigaratte ash into a bowl, “People love making up stories.”

He tried to prompt her, “You used to live there right?”

“I used to own a bar there with my late husband, same name as this. A loud and lively place. We didn’t have rules on who was allowed to enter, so we got all sorts of customers. Even the Four Heavenly Kings used to stop by sometimes. Quite a wild place.” 

Toushirou perked up at the mention of the heavenly kings. He knew about them. They were hailed as heroes during the Joui War. Now, the Jouis were considered rebels, headed by one of the ex-four kings, Katsura Kotaro. He also knew that the strongest and most feared one among them, the one called Shiroyasha, had been killed during a fight. 

Killed or mysteriously disappeared, no one really knew. They never found the body, but no one really cared. Shiroyasha was just one of many bodies on the battlefield anyway. Cruel, but that was what war meant. Going back for the dead could lead to even more death.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of them. The strongest was the Shiroyasha, right? Heard he died on the battlefield,” he started, “Who knows? They could be keeping his body somewhere to experiment on. Maybe those conspiracy theorists aren’t complete morons,” he joked, hoping to lighten the mood a little. 

He noticed Otose’s eyes widen slightly at the mention of Shiroyasha. Huh, interesting. 

“Toushirou, Shiroyasha is dead. They’ve confirmed that one of the big four names is officially dead. Nothing more.” 

Toushirou paused. The atmosphere had changed and he knew there was more to it, but Otose seemed to be even more tight lipped now. He decided not to push his luck in case she started asking questions and decided that it was time to go. 

He got up and dropped the money on the table. “Well whatever, rumours are just gossip fodder. Thanks for the drink, Otose-san. I’ve got an early day tomorrow. See you around,” and he turned around to leave. 

“Toushirou.”

He stopped. 

Otose took another drag from the stick that she was rarely ever seen without. “If you want to investigate, I can’t stop you. But if you do go there, you can stay at my old bar,” she paused, “No one lives there anymore, so make yourself at home. I also heard that wild animals have started to live there now, it’s safer to sleep indoors.”

Maybe he wasn’t so subtle after all. He watched as her shoulders relaxed as she exhaled the smoke. Otose-san always looked relaxed when she smoked, maybe he should try it one day. Nothing too crazy, he didn’t want to get addicted after all, but what was one occasional cigarette when he was stressed going to do?

“Thanks for the concern, Otose-san, but I was just curious.”

With that, he walked away.

Otose watched him leave. She knew she could have stopped the boy, she _should_ have stopped him, told him everything and he wouldn’t need to go.

But she couldn’t help but feel a little bit of hope, which was why she directed him to her old place. Maybe Toushirou could-

She stopped her train of thought and prayed that she made the right choice. If she didn’t, the young man would pay the price. 

* * *

Toushirou expected the trip to take a lot longer, but he arrived within just a few hours. Though his car was almost out of fuel. He only realised halfway through that the tank was low when he was supposed to have started with a full tank. That idiot Yamazaki was probably playing badminton again instead of doing his job. “That guy is just asking for another beating, he’s lucky I’m not around,” Toushirou mumbled to himself.

He stood outside the massive wooden doors that kept the rest of the world away from Kabukicho. Or maybe those gates kept Kabukicho away from the rest of the world. He didn’t know which option he preferred.

Toushirou stared at the chains holding the door shut, and at the talismans stuck all over, feeling a chill run up his spine. 

The rumour was about a sorcerer, right? 

_Right_? 

A living, breathing, evil magic man? None of the rumours said anything about spirits and g-gho-the g word. 

So why the hell did the doors look like something straight out of a horror movie? 

Well, spirits do not exist anyway. They aren’t real, he wasn’t scared. Who was scared? Certainly not him. Not Hijikata Toushirou, vice-commander of the Shinsengumi, the demon who struck fear into the hearts of his men with just one glare. He was not scared. Nope. Only cowards believed in that stuff.

Before he could change his mind, Toushirou drew his sword out and slashed the chains that held the doors closed. 

The doors creaked open slowly. 

Not scared. 

He stepped forward and pushed the door open a little wider, just enough for him to go through. Gearing himself up, he closed his eyes and walked in, holding his sword in front of him as though it could protect him from the undead. 

He stood there for a moment. When nothing happened, he slowly opened his eyes.

Oh. 

Well. 

It looked like a perfectly normal district. Empty and a little run down from the lack of regular maintenance, but nothing too out of place. 

Nothing to be scared about then. Not like he was scared anyway.

It was just slightly past noon, and he had to investigate the whole place. The district was a lot larger than he had expected, and there were a lot of buildings. 

What were they even thinking, sending just one man? The Bafuku must have really wanted to keep him away for as long as possible. 

He sighed, this was going to take a while and his new uniform felt like he was wearing an oven. Who the hell designed that uniform?

Feeling the heat, Toushirou took off his coat and undid the first few buttons of his shirt, rolled up his sleeves and pulled his hair up into a high ponytail. The sorcerer was probably nothing but a rumour to scare people away and he was determined to clear Kabukicho as soon as possible and head back to his men.

* * *

It had taken him almost the whole afternoon and he had only covered less than a third of the district. Every single building and street was deserted. The only signs of life were the stray animals there that had made the district their home. Where were they even getting food from? 

Well, it didn’t matter. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t going to find anything. He briefly thought about heading back and reporting that the place was clear, but his strong sense of duty stopped him from lying. Now he just needed a place to rest for the night before he covered the other areas. 

Toushirou set out to grab his supplies from the car and look for a building that didn’t look like it was going to come alive in his sleep. 

He wasn’t scared of course, but it never hurt to be safe. 

He strolled down the street, assessing the buildings. He felt strangely relaxed, like he belonged here. Though everything was now closed, he could see signs of how this place once teemed with life, and could only imagine how different this place used to be. 

He paused when he saw a familiar sign, ‘ _Snack Otose_ ’. Oh, that was the bar Otose mentioned. She had offered him the space, and it didn’t look as menacing as the other buildings. Huh. Might as well check if there were any bottles of liquor left behind too.

For investigation purposes of course. 

He entered and saw rows of liquor lined on the shelves. Toushirou smirked, “She did ask me to make myself at home anyway,” he said to himself as he grabbed a rather expensive looking bottle of whiskey from the shelf and settled. 

Toushirou brushed away the feeling of something watching him. 

* * *

Feeling slightly tipsy, but still sober enough to walk, he decided to look for a proper room. He could sleep at the bar, but he felt a little uncomfortable sleeping in a public place, even if there was no one around. Also, he still felt like there someone’s gaze was trained on him the entire time and knew he was just being paranoid, but also wanted to get out of there. 

He remembered spotting an apartment on the second floor and made his way up the stairs, holding onto the railing for balance. He broke the lock to the door of the apartment and stepped inside. 

The place looked nice, though looked a bit too clean for a place that was empty for seven years, but who was he to complain? This was the least creepy looking place so far.

He caught something glimmering near the window from the corner of his eye and turned his attention to it. Then he heard a soft click coming from one of the doors behind him.

His hackles raised and he whipped around to the source of the sound. He slowly walked towards it and kept one of his hands on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw. 

A sword wouldn’t help if he was up against the supernatural, but it kept him steady. He pushed open the door and jumped when a white blur jumped out, “FUCK!” 

Toushirou drew his sword and stood in a defensive stance, ready for an attack. 

As his heart calmed down and his vision cleared from the shock, he looked at the creature in front of him. 

A cat. 

A pure white, fluffy cat had jumped out of the toilet and was now looking at him with judgemental eyes. What a jaded looking cat. It was kind of ugly actually, but cute. 

Toushirou sheathed his sword and stood there feeling like an idiot. 

“Tsk, just a stupid cat,” he sighed. 

He swore the cat’s glare deepened as he called it stupid. 

“What. You understand me now?” 

“Mrreow.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I know you’re cute. Have you eaten? Maybe some food will make you look less like you’re about to murder me in my sleep.” 

The cat watched his every movement as Toushirou walked over to his supplies and pulled out a can of tuna. He settled down on the sofa after removing his sword and tight vest, making himself comfortable. He finally let his hair loose, feeling relief after having his hair up in a tight knot for the entire day.

The cat looked pleased at his choice and trotted over to him as he opened the can, apparently having deemed him worthy of attention. 

“What a little brat,” Toushirou muttered fondly, earning himself a swat on his hand.

He grabbed his beloved bottle of mayo, “You want some of this?”

The cat looked offended, as though Toushirou had offended its great ancestors. 

Toushirou pouted at the cat’s reaction to his glorious mayonnaise, “You ungrateful brat, mayonnaise is food from the gods. Your loss.” 

The cat ignored him and started on the tuna. 

“Tsk.” 

He slowly stroked the cat’s head, burying his hands into soft, white fur, playing with its ears and smiled as it twitched in his hand.

Cute. 

How did the cat manage to keep its fur so clean?

He lost his train of thought when something glimmered in his vision again. Hijikata turned towards it and saw a hint of red behind the heavy curtains. 

He felt oddly drawn to it, a strange sense of longing in his chest. 

Toushirou got up and approached the curtains as the cat watched him lazily from the couch. 

He pulled the curtains back and his eyes widened at the sight in front of him.

A single, red rose. 

* * *

Toushirou stared at the rose. He had seen many roses in his life, but none of them came close to the ones he had seen growing outside his childhood home. 

The ones that looked like they were dyed in blood. 

The rose he held was beautiful. And more importantly, it was alive.

How was this flower even alive? It wasn’t planted in anything, and had thorns still present on its stem. 

He picked up the rose, and the feeling of being watched returned. The cat was still staring at him. Its gaze unnerved him and he felt a strange need to leave. 

Well, this place was just as empty as the rest anyway. He could suck it up and sleep in his car. His back would protest the next day, but he would rather an aching back than get possessed by whatever being was watching him. 

Toushirou turned around to leave, holding the rose in his hand carefully to avoid getting pricked by the thorny stem. He didn’t know how it had ended up there or why it was still alive, but it was likely going to wither away in this abandoned place. 

Toushirou rushed over to the door, he could come back tomorrow to get his things. For some reason, he felt like if he didn’t leave now, he would never get the chance again. 

His heart was racing and his blood was pumping. Almost there. 

He held the edge of the door, ready to slide it open...

“You shall not leave!” 

Well, fuck. 

Toushirou froze and his blood ran cold as he heard a booming voice break the silence and the clinking of metal behind him. 

He slowly turned around, only to find a large, imposing figure right behind him, staring at him with red eyes. Absently, he couldn’t help but compare it to the colour of the rose in his hands. 

The figure was wearing a long, black robe held together at the waist with a purple sash. A red scarf covered his neck. A large beaded chain with what looked like talismans hanging from it surrounded his neck, and he was holding...a staff? 

But what caught his attention were the layers of bandages wrapped entirely around the figure’s arms and face, almost like a mummy. They covered his entire body, leaving only the eyes revealed, and were riddled with words that he couldn’t make out. 

Toushirou took a breath, and said the first thing that came to his mind when he saw the sorcerer.

“...Gandalf?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Toshi...I love you, but Gandalf? Seriously? Why are we transcending past anime refs to LOTR? Because the author loves old, outdated memes that are no longer funny lol. Yes, I'm aware it's "You shall not pass". *gets slapped*
> 
> \- “...he didn’t want to get addicted after all.”  
> *Recalls episode on nation-wide smoke ban.* Oh Toshi, my darling, we all know how that went. 
> 
> \- GinHiji will get an actual interaction in the next chapter! 
> 
> As always, feel free to let me know what you think. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata meets the sorcerer.

* * *

Gintoki messed up. 

He had been in the shower, when he heard something trying to break his door. He brushed it off, thinking that it was just another one of the animals looking for food again.

Imagine his shock when he walked out to see a masculine, but slender human’s back, _an actual human_ , facing him. He quickly crossed the short distance to his room and shut the door, hurrying to put on his clothes. 

He hated wearing the robes. It was what the Enmi had worn when they cursed him, and it reminded him of everything he had lost since that day.

But he had to. The inscribed bandages and the thick robes were the only things that could protect someone else from his cursed touch. 

People couldn’t find out that Shiroyasha was still alive, riddled with a curse that could kill anyone he touched. If they did, they would come after him, and even more lives would be lost at his hands. 

No one could kill him, not even himself. 

He had tried.

Otose had helped him spread rumours, to keep people guessing while neither confirming nor denying his existence. The sorcerer in Kabukicho was just a story, a myth, just another part of the web of rumours swirling around a country that just lost a war. 

If only the dead he had left behind were just a rumour too. 

Some people were just too curious, which is why he put up all those chains and talismans as a final effort to ward off the adventurous idiots, and it had been pretty successful for a while. 

Until today. 

He couldn’t believe there would be someone who would ignore all the warnings and still enter, breaking into _his house_ of all places! This guy must be the king of all idiots. 

Maybe he should just stay hidden and follow the man around until he leaves? 

Gintoki wrapped up all the exposed parts, ensuring that the other man would be protected from him. He waited until he heard footsteps getting further away and stepped out. 

His heart stopped when he saw the man at the door holding his precious rose. Was he planning to leave with his rose? 

He needed to stop the man from leaving with his prized possession. 

In his haste, Gintoki forgot that he had planned to stay hidden and shouted the first thing that came to his mind while thumping his staff in desperation, “You shall not leave!”. 

Gintoki watched the man freeze. 

Oh no. 

The man turned around, hesitantly.

Gintoki’s breath caught and his mind blanked. 

The first thing that caught his attention were ocean blue eyes wide with shock and framed with long, dark eyelashes. 

The blood red rose contrasted with his pale skin and long, choppy dark hair that cascaded down his back, bangs falling smoothly in a perfect v-shape. Sunlight illuminated his skin, making him look like he had stepped right out of a painting and into Gintoki’s home. 

Gintoki had seen many attractive people in his life, but there was a certain wild charm that drew him in. Stunning, yet dangerous, and Gintoki couldn’t help but think, 

_Beautiful._

Then the beauty in front of him opened his petal pink lips and called him Gandalf.

* * *

“Hah? Do I look like a bearded old man? Did you break into my house to pick a fight?!” 

Toushirou broke out of his daze when the sorcerer snapped in front of him. Well, he sounded alive at least so it wasn’t a spirit. He instantly regained his confidence. 

Not that he was ever scared of course.

“Your robe, your staff, your entire outfit screams wizard, and you even said his line. What part of you doesn’t look like some creepy old wizard?”

“Gandalf is not-I’m not a creep-! And his line was PASS. He said ‘You shall not pass. I said leave! Words like that matter in fiction you know.” Then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

As Toushirou watched the figure in front of him attempt to regain his thoughts, he tried to sneak out. Were the rumours actually true? Or was this just an innocent man who decided to make an abandoned town his home? 

That didn’t explain the suspicious outfit though. Or the chained up gates. Or how he survived for years like this. Honestly, there was nothing that would support his ‘this man is just misunderstood’ theory. Fuck, he was looking at the rumoured sorcerer, wasn’t he? Now he needed to find out more about this man. 

Preferably from afar. If he could just leave before...

As he slid the door open, an arm shot out from behind and slammed it shut. 

“You can’t leave.”

Toushirou felt his heart stutter. 

“...Why?”

Toushirou needed to be careful here. One wrong move could end his life. He clutched the rose a little closer to himself.

“You can’t leave.”

“...” Toushirou’s hackles raised.

“I can’t let anyone know about me.”

He reached for his sword- crap. In his haste to leave, Toushirou had left his sword on the table. How could he have been so distracted by a fucking flower that he forgot the one thing he needed to have by his side at all times? 

At the back of his mind, he felt that his sword would be useless. Toushirou was confident with the sword, but he had spent many years surviving on instinct, and right not that instinct told him not to make this man an enemy. 

Toushirou decided to test the waters, “What would you do if I say no?” 

“...You’ve heard the rumours. Do you really want to find out if they’re real?” 

“I don’t care if you killed me right now.” 

“What about those you love?”

Toushirou inhaled sharply and his glare wavered at the threat to those he cared about. 

What was he supposed to do now? He had heard the stories, a sorcerer who killed all those who crossed him. The bodies were found with their hair turned white, and skin wrinkled, almost as if someone had turned the clock forward on their lives by a hundred years. 

Toushirou didn’t know anything about this man’s power. He could very well drop dead the moment he stepped out of here. 

He thought about Kondo, Sougo, Yamazaki and the rest of his men. What if the sorcerer somehow had a way to find them? Toushirou didn’t know anything about his powers or how far they could reach.

But...he did have a mission to kill him if he found him. And unfortunately, Toushirou found him. If he was as dangerous as the rumours made him out to be, the vice-commander had a duty to end him right here and not let this man take any more innocent lives. 

First, he needed to figure out what this man could do. 

“I’ll stay,” Toushirou hardened his glare, “I’ll stay and you will leave them alone.” 

“You have my word.” 

“Like your word means anything.” 

“Well believe me or not, that’s all you get.” 

Toushirou channeled all the resentment he could muster into his glare. The glare that had earned him the title of “Demon” amongst his men.

As he glared into the sorcerer’s eyes, challenging him with every bit of strength he had against the imposing figure, he wondered why the red eyes looked so sad. 

They didn’t seem like the eyes that belonged to someone cruel. 

Still, the sorcerer had threatened his and his men’s lives, and if he was a potential threat to everyone else, Toushirou would do his part to end him. 

He dropped his gaze and walked past the sorcerer, back into the house. He noticed the man jerk away the moment he got too close, but forgot about it when he spotted the cat. 

That cat had been lazing on the couch, watching them the whole time without lifting a single tiny paw to help after eating all of his tuna. What a little jerk. 

As Toushirou walked away, he heard a whisper, “I’m sorry.” 

He paused and turned around.

Sorry? 

Toushirou let out a breath that he didn’t realise he was holding. Though whether this mysterious man was apologising for possibly murdering him in the future was another problem he didn’t want to think about.

He held the rose even tighter and noticed the sorcerer’s gaze turn pained. 

“Stop it.”

"Huh?"

The sorcerer moved closer and reached out. Toushirou held his breath, frozen to the spot. He was on high alert. 

Right before the man could reach him, he stopped and his hand twitched as he pulled away.

“You’re hurting my rose.” 

Toushirou looked down at the flower he had forgotten about. He didn’t realise that he had one hand tightened around the bloom, almost crushing the delicate petals. 

His other hand was wrapped around the stem and the thorns were digging into his palm. He let go and saw tiny pinpricks of blood on his hand. The thorns were stained with blood. 

The man had told him to stop hurting the rose, but if Toushirou hadn’t been so distracted by his thoughts, he would have realised that the red gaze had not been focused on the delicate rose petals, but on his injured hand.

* * *

“If I’m going to be your prisoner, I would like to know the name of my captor.”

“You first.” 

“What? I asked you first,” Toushirou shot back.

“No, you.”

What the hell was up with this guy? One moment he was getting offended, the next he threatened him and had the nerve to look sad about it. Now he was acting like a child. 

He huffed in exasperation. 

“Hijikata Toushirou.”

“Nice to meet you, Hijikata-kun.” 

Pause. 

Hijikata’s frustration rose when the man stopped and didn’t offer more. 

“Well? I give you mine, you give me yours. That’s how this works.” 

“Call me Enmi.” 

That was obviously a lie. 

“Well, _Enmi,”_ he emphasised the name, making it clear that he knew it was bullshit, “it was terrible to meet you. Where’s my prison?” 

“Uh, here.”

Toushirou raised an eyebrow. 

“Here?” 

“What? Do you think I have a dungeon in the basement or something?”

Toushirou remained silent. He did think that. 

Enmi continued, “This whole house is yours to explore. There’s a bar downstairs if you want a drink. Actually, you’re free to go around the whole town. You can’t leave anyway, I will know. Have fun, knock yourself out.” 

What was this guy even saying? Was he the first prisoner? Well, he wasn’t going to shoot his freedom in the foot.

“Wait. There are two rules,” Enmi continued, “don’t leave this house at night. Since this district has been abandoned, more animals have started to move in. The wild ones usually come out at night.”

“What’s the second rule?”

“The second and most important rule, Hijikata-kun, is that you are _not_ allowed to enter my room.”

For the first time since their unfortunate meeting, Toushirou shuddered at the chill in the sorcerer’s voice.

* * *

Gintoki sat in his room. He had finally removed that ridiculous attire and all the bandages covering him.

He absently traced his fingers along the words on his skin. 

What the hell had he just done?

After seven years, the most beautiful man he had ever seen showed up at his house and Gintoki had pretty much imprisoned him and threatened his family and friends. How the hell would he even know who they are? At least Hijikata bought his lie. 

His heart twinged when he recalled the resentment in deep blue eyes, but he couldn’t risk his existence being revealed. He just couldn’t. 

Images of hair turning white and skin wrinkling up as a man reached out to his cursed hands flashed through his mind. 

How could he help when his touch had caused it in the first place? 

He didn’t know at the time. He hadn’t known. If he knew, he would not have touched all those people that day. He would not have accepted the warm hug from the man who raised him.

The man he considered a father had died in his arms, all life sucked out, only an empty shell left behind. 

_Shouyou-sensei._

He closed his eyes, and his thoughts shifted to the blue eyed man that he could hear shuffling about his house.

If he hadn't been so distracted by his thoughts, he would have noticed a clear patch of skin in the crook of his arm, where a word used to be, but had now disappeared. 

**Alone.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki seducing Toshi by threatening to kill his loved ones. Ah, what a romantic. ;)
> 
> As I mentioned, I did change the way the white curse works. Because being a disease that spreads didn’t really work for this story, so I changed it to a ‘King Midas’ kind of thing. Except instead of turning to gold, people get their life sucked out of them. What a joy. 
> 
> Man, I remember when Hijikata first appeared in Gintama in ep 1, I didn’t even know if he was a main character at that point, but I was like “wow he’s gorgeous and he’s a badass” and I immediately googled him hoping so hard that he wasn’t just a throwaway character.
> 
> Then I found out that Hijikata Toushirou is a massively significant character in Gintama and that GinHiji is the most popular ship. 
> 
> It felt like the stars aligned. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for all your comments in the last chapter! Feel free to let me know what you think about this one. <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gintoki attempts to bond with Hijikata, and another character appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More GinHiji and we meet someone else who has been in contact with Gin.
> 
> See you in the end notes!

* * *

“Gintoki-sama.”

Silence.

“Gintoki-sama.”

“...mm...”

Cold water splashed on him and Gintoki woke up with a jolt, “What the-!”

“Gintoki-sama, it is now 1.02 pm and you have been asleep for 16 hours and 7 minutes.”

“Tama, how many times do I have to tell you not to wake me up? There’s nothing for me to do anyway.”

“Gintoki-sama, my research shows that over sleeping reduces a human male’s fertility and performance in bed.” 

“Performance in b-! Oi, why are you researching such things? You’re supposed to be a pure, innocent soul.!”

“Gin-”

“Also, it’s not like it matters anymore anyway. Not with this body,” he mumbled and flopped back onto the bed, jumping back up immediately when he remembered that it was now soaking wet. 

Tama’s eyes moved towards the door, “What about Hijikata-san?” 

“...You’ve met him?” 

“No. I watched him drink at the bar yesterday.”

Gintoki was glad that Tama didn’t acknowledge his attempt to avoid her question. 

“That’s creepy, you know. He might think you’re a stalker.”

“But Gintoki-sama, I didn’t think I should reveal myself at the time.” 

“He’ll be here for a while. So you might as well introduce yourself.”

“Okay, Gintoki-sama.” 

“Okay.” 

“Gintoki-sama?”

“Yeah?” 

“Do you think Hijikata-sama...” 

Gintoki sighed, “Even if I end up falling for him, what are the chances that he will feel the same?”

After all, how could anyone fall in love with a demon? 

“But-”

“Drop it, Tama. But we don’t know if we even understand the curse. That Enmi just spilled some mumbo jumbo about demons and falling in love. I’m not going to risk his life for an experiment. I don’t even know how this curse works!”

He paused, running his hands through his hair in frustration. His voice softened, “All I know is that everyone I touched since that day has died. I can’t let anyone else die at my hands, Tama,” his voice broke, “not after Sensei. Not after G-Gengai.” 

Gintoki looked away. Ever since Gengai’s death, he could never bring himself to utter the man’s name in front of Tama.

“I understand, Gintoki-sama, but please, don’t reject it if it happens. I will take my leave now,” and she turned around to leave.

“Tama,” Gintoki called out.

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For staying by my side all these years.”

Tama smiled, “That’s what friends do, Gintoki-sama.” 

Gintoki smiled fondly as she left. It had taken a long time for Tama to stop seeing herself as a machine built solely to obey humans. She still found joy and purpose in helping others, but for her to see them as friends and put herself on equal ground was a huge step forward. 

As Tama was an android, she was immune to the curse. Tama had moved to a nearby district and would come back almost everyday to stock up the necessities, clean the house and bar, and spend some time with Gintoki. She could easily pass the chained gates by travelling across rooftops, so that never stopped her, and Gintoki was thankful. Her presence had also kept him sane for the past seven years.

She had wanted to live in Kabukicho with him, but Gintoki refused. Tama thrived on being surrounded by humans, he couldn’t bring himself to drag someone else down with him. 

His mind flashed to Hijikata—Gintoki had forced him to stay in a moment of panic, but how long was he going to keep him here? 

His gaze flitted to the undying rose that sat on his shelf. How long could he keep a rose before it starts to wilt?

* * *

Toushirou had slept on the sofa last night and found a hearty breakfast set out on the table when he woke up in the morning. 

Huh. Did that guy seriously prepare all that? 

He ate the food then spent the morning walking around town, exploring more of the district. He gave up after going through yet another deserted building with nothing that caught his interest and went back to the house for lunch.

That was when he saw a pretty green haired girl walk out of the room he was forbidden to enter. 

He stiffened. Why was a young girl leaving Enmi’s room? 

Nope. He didn’t want to go there.

“Good afternoon, Hijikata-sama.”

Sama? What the hell was that man teaching this girl?! Was that why he was not allowed to enter? Because that disgusting man was-

The young girl interrupted his thoughts, “Hijikata-sama, it is not healthy to get so angry. Please, allow me to prepare some tea, it will help you relax. I hope you liked the breakfast I prepared in the morning,” she said as she got to work preparing the tea.

Hijikata relaxed and finally took in the maid outfit and the mop she was carrying. Maybe she was just the housekeeper? That would explain why this place looked so well taken care of compared to the other buildings. 

Still, why was she even here? Are there others living in this desolate town? Why was she wearing those weird headphones that looked like they were attached to her ears? 

“Who are you?” 

“My name is Tama, Hijikata-sama. I’m G-Enmi-sama’s friend and I help to take care of the house.”

Toushirou was sharp enough to catch her minor slip, but chose not to press it. Not yet. 

“Please Tama-san, drop the sama, san is fine. Thank you for breakfast. Are you the one who gets the groceries too?” 

He needed to know that he would not be at risk of running out of mayonnaise. That was very important. 

“Yes, Hijikata-sama-san. I leave town every week to stock up. Do you need anything? I will be making a trip today.”

“I said to drop the sama,” Toushirou repeated, he had no interest in that honorific. And what the hell was sama-san anyway?!

“Don’t bother, I’ve asked her to drop it for years but she insists on keeping the sama,” a deep voice cut in. 

Toushirou jolted when he heard Enmi’s voice and saw the man emerging from his room, all covered up. At least he wasn’t carrying the staff now. 

“Years?” How long have these two been living together? Since the district closed? But Tama looked like she was only a teenager. 

Tama looked at him, “I’m not human, Hijikata-sama. I’m an android built in Kabukicho during the war.”

Wow, was technology really this advanced even before the tech revolution that came with the Amantos? The city must have been a lot more advanced than the village he came from.

“I have been living here with Enmi-sama since my...father died right before the war ended.”

Toushirou couldn’t see Enmi’s face, but he thought he saw a pained look flash across red eyes at the mention of Tama’s father, who he guessed was the one who created her. 

Tama seemed to have caught it too, “Gi-Enmi-sama, it’s not your fault. He knew what he was doing.” 

“Tama, isn’t it time for you to head out?” 

It was obvious that Enmi was trying to stop her from explaining more, but Toushirou decided to ask her another time.

“Yes, Enmi-sama. I should head out now. Hijikata-sama, is there anything you need? We would like to make your stay here as comfortable as possible.” 

Anything? Well, if he was going to be forced to stay here for an undetermined amount of time, he was not going to hold back. 

“Hmm...mayonnaise, please.”

He pretended not to see Enmi cringe.

“How many bottles, Hijikata-sama?”

“Everything on the shelf,” he said confidently. 

Toushirou focused on Tama, who just nodded, unphased by his request, and ignored the incredulous cry of disgust from Enmi. 

* * *

Once Tama left, the two stood in silence. 

Gintoki cleared his throat, hoping to break the awkward silence, “Erm, so, Hijikata-kun, I hope you slept well?”

Hijikata just raised his eyebrow and looked at the sofa he spent the night on. It was a lot more comfortable than he expected

“Don’t you at least have a proper prison to keep your prisoners?”

“I already told you I don’t have one! You’re not my-! You’re not my prisoner.” 

“I’m not allowed to leave whenever I want, and I’m not allowed to leave this house at night. How is that not a prison?”

“Staying in the house at night is for your own safety. You’re free to go wherever you want.”

“Just not out of this town, and not back home. Even if I can go around this town, there is nothing to do here!”

Gintoki didn’t want to deal with this right now, Tama was always calm and he hadn’t had this kind of interaction with anyone for seven years. It was making his head hurt. 

“Look, I put up a divider in my room last night with Tama’s help, you can use the other half. It has its own door. That’s what I’m offering, take it or leave it.” 

Hijikata stared at him with an unreadable gaze, then picked his things up and stormed off into his new room, slamming the door. 

Gintoki trudged back to his room and laid down, frustrated that all he could think about during their exchange was that Hijikata looked stunning with his hair all tied up in a ponytail and his eyes blazing with defiance. 

* * *

Toushirou huffed as he sat on the futon and stroked the white cat that had wandered into his room with him and decided to make his lap its new bed. 

He decided that he liked Tama well enough, but Enmi was hard to read. Looking at the man pissed him off, but sometimes he would catch flashes of emotion in the man’s eyes and he didn’t know what to think. 

Also, who the hell splits their own room in one night for someone they kept as prisoner? 

There was more to this story, and if he wanted to get anywhere with his mission, he would have to speak to Tama without Enmi hovering around. 

As he stroked the soft fur and felt the comforting vibrations of the cat’s purr, he wondered, if the rumours were true and the sorcerer was a ruthless murderer, why hasn't he been killed yet? 

* * *

“Ask him to join you for dinner, Gintoki-sama.”

“Why? He hates me. Why would he want to have dinner with someone who’s keeping him as a prisoner?”

“Ask him, Gintoki-sama. Even if it’s not for the curse, at least make him feel comfortable here.”

Gintoki groaned, Tama was right. After she left, they had argued and Hijikata went straight back to his room and locked himself inside. 

“Okay fine, but if he says no, that’s it,” Gintoki said as he got up and went over to Hijikata’s room. 

“At least try, Gintoki-sama.”

He rolled his eyes and knocked on the door, calling out, “Hijikata-kun? Dinner’s ready.”

Silence. 

He knocked again, “Hijikata-kun?”

“No.” 

Gintoki took a breath and looked at Tama. She looked at him insistently. 

He turned back to the door, “Oi, Tama has put in a lot of effort to make dinner. Do you want to waste her food?” 

Silence. Gintoki saw the pile of mayonnaise bottles on the table. His face twisted in disgust at the sight. 

Fine, one last attempt before he gave up.

“There’s mayo.”

Then he heard shuffling, and the door slid open slowly, revealing Hijikata’s unimpressed face, but Gintoki could detect a sparkle in his eyes as he asked, “Mayo?” 

Tama chimed in, “Yes, Hijikata-sama. I hope the mayo is to your liking.” 

Hijikata pushed past Gintoki, ignoring him completely as he walked over to the dining table enthusiastically. 

* * *

This was a mistake. A huge mistake. Gintoki had messed up again. 

What the actual hell was Hijikata doing with that mayonnaise? 

Gintoki had been proud of himself for coaxing Hijikata out of his room for dinner. Tama had even cooked his favourite rice with sweet red beans as a treat, and he had been generous enough to share his favourite food with Hijikata. 

Only to look on in helpless horror as Hijikata scraped the beans off his rice, and committed the worst sin by squeezing an entire bottle of mayonnaise over it before proceeding to gobble the entire bowl down.

Demon. Only a demon can commit such an atrocious act. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? That’s disgusting!”

Hijikata instantly glared at him, eyes lit in challenge, “What _you’re_ eating is disgusting. This is gourmet food!” 

“Did your taste buds die during the war? I’m serious,” he looked to Tama in concern, “Tama, is there anything you can do to repair his tongue?”

Hijikata’s eye twitched, “Oi.”

“Enmi-sama, unfortunately, I do not have the required equipment with me, but I can attempt to find a replacement tongue during one of my shopping trips.”

“Oi oi...there’s-” 

Gintoki deliberately interrupted him, “Oh Tama, this is a tragedy. This poor man can’t taste anymore. We have to help him.”

“I assure you Enmi-sama, I will try my best to help him.”

“OI will you two shut up! There’s nothing wrong with mayo! It is food from the gods, why does no one ever understand how amazing mayo is?!” 

Then he did what every strong, mature adult does when they faced disagreement—he crossed his arms and pouted. 

Gintoki stared at the pouting man in amusement. He also couldn’t help but think that Hijikata looked absolutely adorable with that pout and angry blush. Why was the man so cute even when angry? 

Still, he had to do something. He didn’t want Hijikata to stay angry with him. 

Gintoki looked to Tama for help and found her pointing at the mayonnaise. 

Oh no. Hell no. Nope. He looked at her, eyes pleading for another solution.

Tama just blinked and smiled sweetly. 

Ugh, fine! Gintoki took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do next. 

He grabbed a bottle of mayonnaise off the table, and noticed Hijikata watch him curiously. He looked straight into blue eyes as he opened the bottle and dumped the entire bottle on top of his red bean rice, physically cringing as he desecrated his precious food. Then he moved the bandage covering his mouth and started to shove the rice loaded with mayo in. Gintoki winced at the horrible taste, but maintained eye contact, wanting Hijikata to know just how much he was sacrificing. 

Toushirou stared in shock. That was the first time someone had bothered to try his favourite food. Enmi’s looked like he was in pain with every spoonful he ate, but the man still continued. Why? To make him happy? Why would anyone do something they hated just to make him happy?

Toushirou slowly relaxed and looked at Enmi as he reached for his own food again. He looked at the red beans he had scraped off to one side. Maybe just once, it shouldn’t be too bad if it was on top of the mayo, right?

He scooped the red beans he had scraped off into a separate bowl, placing them back on his rice as he started to eat the cursed combination. 

They sat in silence, eating rice topped with red beans and mayonnaise. Gintoki noticed Tama had disappeared for the night, off to recharge or whatever she did at the end of the day. 

The food was terrible, but at that moment, the two men thought that maybe dinner wasn’t so bad after all. 

That night, Gintoki noticed clear spot on his neck. Another word had disappeared. 

**Solitude.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing too crazy this chapter, but we get interactions between Tama and Gintoki, Tama and Hijkata, development between Gintoki and Hijikata, and most importantly, the cat sleeps on Toshi. That is the most important part. Nothing else matters once there is a cat. All hail cats. 
> 
> As someone who lives with two adopted cats, I can confirm that becoming a cat bed is an incredible honour because they have finally accepted you as their humble servant and portable furniture. This is the highest achievement one can ever accomplish in their lives. 
> 
> As always, feel free to leave a comment if you would like to. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata is bored and Gintoki brings him somewhere special.

* * *

It had been about a week since Hijikata went to Kabukicho and he had settled into a routine. A rather boring routine. 

He would wake up at 6am and wash up, eat the breakfast that Tama prepared, train in one of the empty dojos he found, head back for lunch and a shower, then walk around the empty town with Shiro (he had scoffed when Tama told him that it was the white cat’s name—how unoriginal) trotting alongside, go back for dinner with Enmi, argue with Enmi over nothing and then eat together in comfortable silence, train again, shower, brush his hair, and sleep. 

Repeat. Every day. For seven days.

So yes, Toushirou was going crazy from boredom. 

There was nothing new in any parts of town. He knew the best place to look for information was the house itself, but Enmi was always around, so Toushirou couldn’t find a good time to search. The man just popped up everytime he tried to open a drawer or check the shelf. 

Seven days and he had zero progress. So much for being the vice-commander and the brains of the Shinsengumi. All he had seen the man do was laze around and feed the animals before dinner. 

He was also starting to wonder if this man was really just a regular man who just decided to make this empty town his home and scared people away so that he could live here. Toushirou sighed, but that didn’t explain why he would need to chase out a whole town just to stay, neither did it explain his ridiculous outfit, the way Enmi dodged him everytime he got close, or Tama. 

It didn’t explain anything really. He had to eventually search the house for answers, he couldn’t stay in this town forever, isolated from everyone.

Dinner was when he got to have a proper conversation again. Not that Tama wasn’t enough, she was lovely, but she was hardly ever around and almost always agreed with everything he said. Enmi, on the other hand, always started a pointless argument by insulting or teasing him, but it was still better than nothing. 

He could even say that their arguments were fun and that he actually looked forward to dinner because of Enmi. But he would commit much rather seppuku before admitting this. 

Today was the start of the second week, and Toushirou was so bored that he decided to just lay on the couch after training. What was the point in visiting yet another empty building? Shiro seemed to agree and was happy to lie down lazily next to his head. He was busy nuzzling into the cat’s soft fur when he heard Enmi’s door open and sat up. As Toushirou spent most of his day either training or exploring, he hardly ever saw Enmi before dinner.

Just as he turned his head to greet the man, he heard a hasty, “Oh, fuck!”

Toushirou thought he saw a glimmer of silver as the door slammed closed, but shook the thought away. 

* * *

On the other side of the door, Gintoki’s heart raced from almost being caught without his disguise. He was so used to Hijikata not being around the house in the day and had started to only wear it during dinner because it was such a troublesome attire. 

Maybe he could just ditch the outfit already? Surely the bandages would be enough. Still, it was better to not take any risks. 

Gintoki knew he could easily wait until the man went to sleep to have dinner if he hated wearing it so much, but part of him enjoyed the company. He enjoyed their banter and the silence that came after. 

He also enjoyed the view. A lot. 

Not that Hijikata needed to know, of course. 

He got dressed in the heavy robes and stepped out again. This time, he spotted Hijikata braiding his hair with Shiro on his lap, a gentle smile on his face as he looked at the cat. 

_God, he’s beautiful._

Shiro seemed to notice him and snuggled into Hijikata’s lap further, purring and kneading its claws. Gintoki narrowed his eyes at the cat, that little brat was getting all comfy on the man’s lap just to make him jealous.

Why was he even jealous of a cat? 

Deep blue eyes turned to look at him. “I’m bored.”

Gintoki was caught off-guard. “What?” 

Hijikata sighed, “There’s nothing to do here. There’s only so many empty buildings I can look at. If you want me to stay here, find me something to do.” 

“You’re demanding for a prisoner.” 

“I thought you said I’m not a prisoner?” 

Frankly, Gintoki didn’t know what he was. To Hijikata, yes he was a prisoner because Gintoki had threatened his loved ones, but if Hijikata did actually run away, Gintoki knew that he wouldn’t actually do anything about it. It was an empty threat. 

Honestly, he didn’t have a plan. He had panicked when he saw the man and forced him to stay, but how long was he going to keep this up? 

He also selfishly didn’t want Hijikata to leave. 

“Prisoners don’t get to sit on my couch and pet my cat.” 

Hijikata rolled his eyes, finished securing his braid and got up to leave. 

“Wait! Have some patience, will you?” 

Hijikata paused, “I’ve had a lot of patience.”

“Okay okay, I know. Listen. The first day. You liked the rose, right? I can’t-I can’t let you have that one, it’s important to me, but I can show you something else. Come with me?”

He narrowed his eyes, “It better not be anywhere suspicious.”

“What, are you afraid I’m going to bring you to some kind of sex dungeon? This isn’t 50 Shades of Grey, you know?” Gintoki couldn’t help but tease. 

“Ha, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Oi! I’m not that perverted!”

“So you admit that you _are_ a pervert.” 

“You-! Ahh whatever, just come with me, or die of boredom here. Your choice.”

He saw the hesitation in Hijikata’s eyes, but his curiosity eventually won out and he walked up to Gintoki. 

“Well, what are you just standing here for? Lead the way,” Hijikata commanded, as though he was the one in-charge here.

Gintoki’s eyebrow twitched beneath the wraps. If only he was able to touch Hijikata, he would have strangled him...and kissed him at the same time.

Okay fine, maybe he was a pervert.

* * *

Toushirou followed Enmi down to the bar and stood in front of the door that led to the kitchen. “This is what you wanted to show me? I’ve already been here.” 

“I know, Tama told me about how you shamelessly helped yourself to the drinks on your first night here.”

Toushirou felt his face heat up and turned away, sure that he was blushing at being caught. 

They continued walking through the kitchen. “She was the one watching me?” 

“So you knew you were being watched and still continued to get drunk? You don’t really have a sense of self-preservation, do you?” 

“I wasn’t drunk. I was perfectly capable of defending myself.”

“Which is why you left your sword on the table when you were trying to escape.” 

Toushirou couldn’t see Enmi’s full face, but he could see the mirth in his red eyes and was pretty sure the man was smirking behind all those wraps. 

“Tsk, shut up.” 

“That’s what those who lose the fight say.”

“No, I just don’t need to waste my energy explaining myself to an idiot.”

Enmi didn’t reply, but Toushirou heard him mumbling to himself, “Calling a murderer an idiot? You really don’t have any sense of self-preservation.” 

He paused. Murderer? 

“We’re here.” Enmi stopped in front of a door at the end of the kitchen. There were two doors, one that most likely led out to the trash, the other door was on the opposite side where Enmi stood. He stood to the side, and asked Toushirou to open the door.

“Go ahead.”

Toushirou stepped forward hesitantly, what if this was Enmi’s torture room? Fuck, the man had even called himself a murderer earlier. He shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable and teased a stranger he knew nothing about. 

But Hijikata Toushirou was still a curious man who placed his duty above his life. So he pushed the door open and entered, closing his eyes and bracing himself for the worst. 

The first thing he noticed was that he was hit with the scent of-flowers? No…

He knew this scent. He knew it like the back of his hand. He had smelt this everyday as a child whenever he stepped out of his house.

Roses.

Toushirou opened his eyes and his breath caught. Rows of red and white roses filled his vision. The door had opened out to a garden surrounded by walls at the sides, which explained why he had not seen this when exploring the town. 

It was beautiful. 

“How?”

“Seven years is a long time. It was just bare ground at first, but Tama helped to research and I worked on slowly turning this into a garden with fertile soil.”

Toushirou walked through the garden. He gently cupped a red rose, lost in memories. “...My mother loved roses. The red ones used to grow outside my childhood home. I could smell them every time I left the house.” 

Gintoki didn’t reply, and Toushirou took that as a sign to continue, absentmindedly running his hand down his braid as he reminisced about the past.

He smiled, “She used to love braiding my hair and sticking a rose in it when I was a kid, you know? Everyone used to stare at me, and the other kids made fun of me for it, but I never really cared about those idiots. My mother loved it and that’s all that mattered. She braided my hair one last time before she died.”

Toushirou didn’t know why he was revealing so much about himself to a man that had called himself a murderer, but Toushirou had blood on his hands too. There was something about Enmi that made him comfortable. Or maybe it was the rose garden making him sentimental.

“The kids who made fun of you, did you get even?”

Toushirou smirked, “Kicked their sorry asses till they went home crying.”

“Good.” 

He appreciated that Enmi didn’t try to comfort him and asked, “Why roses?” 

“My teacher used to grow white roses at our school garden.” 

Enmi sighed. He had a faraway look in his eyes, like he was no longer in the present, but was relieving memories from a long time ago. 

Toushirou turned to him, recalling what the other man muttered earlier, “Hey, I heard you earlier. What...what exactly did you mean when you called yourself a murderer?”

“I meant exactly what I said.” Enmi’s eyes had snapped back to the present, and Toushirou stiffened at the sudden glare in the red eyes. 

Having grown up alone and being the target of many in more ways than one, he had learnt to be extra careful when interacting with people, but something about this man threw him off guard and made him way too comfortable that he kept forgetting what he was even here for. 

And something about the anger in Enmi’s eyes made him want to cower and hide. 

“Mew,” Shiro interrupted, breaking the tense moment. When did the cat follow them into the garden?

Enmi noticed that Toushirou had taken a step back in fear and his eyes softened. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just...thinking about something else. Anyway, this garden is free for you to visit anytime you want. It’s yours now, as much as it is mine. I hope it can bring you some peace as well. Enjoy,” and he hurriedly turned around to leave.

Toushirou really didn’t understand this man who seemed to swing from one mood to the next, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe that this man was an evil, cold-blooded murderer. 

No one who was truly cold-blooded would have looked so pained when thinking about his teacher, or looked at him so softly and with regret, right? Neither would they have offered their safe space to a complete stranger. 

As Enmi reached the door, Toushirou called out, “Enmi.”

Enmi paused and turned around, “Gintoki.” 

“Huh?”

“My name. Call me Gintoki.” 

“Thank you, Gintoki.”

“What?”

Without looking at the other man, Toushirou plucked a fallen red rose off the ground, and placed it in his braid, where his mother used to place it when she did his hair.

Toushirou smiled softly, running his fingers along the rose in his hair, “This place. It’s beautiful. Thank you for showing me,” and he turned towards Gintoki. 

“...Yeah, you’re beautiful,” Gintoki replied, without taking his eyes off Toushirou. 

Toushirou’s eyes widened and he blushed at the intense stare. He was about to reply when the other man turned and left hastily. 

Well then. 

* * *

“Call me Gintoki?! Who even says that?” Gintoki sat in his room, complaining to Tama about everything that had happened at the rose garden, how he had scared Hijikata and then thought it was a good idea to call him beautiful straight to his face before hightailing it out of there like a coward.

“Gintoki-sama, he thanked you and called you by name without hesitation after you scared him, which means that his impression of you did not change after. He did not reject you after you called him beautiful, but blushed instead. From my research, there is an 82% chance that he is open to developing feelings for you.”

“What kind of useless research are you doing?”

“There are a lot of love dramas, Shoujo and Shounen-ai manga to refer to when it comes to romance, Gintoki-sama. Some genres even have very detailed sex sce-”

“Okay, stop. That’s enough,” Gintoki did not want to hear anything about sex coming out from such an innocent face. Also, was he really getting love advice from someone who got her information from fiction?

She did have a point, he admitted. Hijikata did not seem to completely hate him and had not reacted in the way he expected when he blurted out that he thought the man was beautiful. 

Then again, it probably wasn’t the first time Hijikata received such a compliment, right? He was sure the man got a lot of interest from others. He shifted, the thought of others going after Hijikata didn’t sit well with him. 

If he didn’t outright reject Gintoki, maybe there was a chance?

But. 

“Tama.”

“Yes, Gintoki-sama?”

“Do you really think that he can fall in love with someone like me?”

“I think that it is impossible for him to know Sakata Gintoki and not fall in love, Gintoki-sama.” 

“I can’t risk his life, Tama. What if I kill him?” 

“The curse doesn’t say that he has to touch you to break it. Maybe he just has to say that he loves you out loud?”

“What if that doesn’t work?” 

“We won’t know unless we try, that is how research works, Gintoki-sama.”

“Mm. Okay. Okay, I’ll try. For Gengai-san.” 

For the first time in 10 years, Gintoki felt _hope._

“Ah, Gintoki-sama, another word has disappeared. Do you remember what it was?” Tama asked, pointing at his hand.

Gintoki remembered every single word written on his body, especially the one that he stared at on the back of his hand every single day. The word that was no longer there. 

**Despair.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 now has art by Trapid! I'm so thankful to receive this artwork, you're amazing! <3 
> 
> Head over to view the artwork and support the artist on:  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/trapid_v/status/1318556972640292879?s=20)  
> [Tumblr](https://trapid-v.tumblr.com/post/632505675505926144/ive-been-meaning-to-draw-hiji-with-a-braid-for)  
> \-------------  
> If anyone’s wondering, the rose garden is meant to parallel the scene where Beast brought Belle to the library in Beauty & the Beast. Though in the movie, Belle is also attracted to the rose in the rose garden, but that's at the very beginning. So I guess this combines the two? 
> 
> Is anyone getting impatient with this fic yet? Haha hope you can bear with me. ><  
> Anyway, I’m excited for the next chapter, cause there’s some proper progress! And it's a longer chapter :)
> 
> I’m also excited for Halloween, and because that day is special to me, I’m working on two mini fics for a Halloween release. Hopefully I can get them done in time lol. Otherwise they’ll just go up late. 
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijikata finds out what happened seven years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So sorry for the delay in this chapter. I uploaded two fics for Halloween, and work was kicking my ass so I didn’t have much time. Feel free to check out the 2 fics on my page if you're interested! Also I kept editing this chapter over and over...but it’s finally up! :)
> 
> ALSO, the wonderful Trapid drew art of Hijikata at the rose garden for Chapter 5! I’m so honoured that you liked this fic enough to draw art for it. Seriously, I got so excited when you messaged me about it. Thank you so much! <3 <3
> 
> Please view the artwork by Trapid here:
> 
> [Twitter - Chapter 5 art](https://twitter.com/trapid_v/status/1318556972640292879?s=20)  
> [Tumblr - Chapter 5 art](https://trapid-v.tumblr.com/post/632505675505926144/ive-been-meaning-to-draw-hiji-with-a-braid-for)
> 
> Please support the artist directly on their Twitter and/or Tumblr! Send more love to GH content creators. <3

* * *

“Good morning, Hijikata-sama.”

“Morning. You know you don’t have to make breakfast specially for me, right?”

Toushirou had asked her the same thing many times, feeling guilty that she had to prepare an additional meal for him because he was an early riser. 

Unlike the other lazy ass living in the house who only woke up at lunchtime. 

“You don’t like it? I can try preparing something else. Let me just research-”

“Ah, no. Your cooking is great. I just don’t want to give you more work.” 

“I enjoy cooking for others, Hijikata-sama.” Toushirou sighed and took a seat, defeated. 

“Well, thank you for the food.” He gave her a small smile, watching as she brightened slightly and nodded. 

Toushirou started to dig in. He wondered how she cooked, because he had never seen her actually work in the kitchen, food just appeared out of nowhere right before mealtimes. 

Maybe she cooked in the bar kitchen? Well, whatever, Tama’s food always tasted great anyway.

He leaned back and took another bite. Toushirou loved mornings. 

Mornings were peaceful and calm, it was when the birds chirped and the gentle glare of the sun streamed in through the windows. it was when he had the most energy to train. 

Mornings were also when he could talk to Tama without Gintoki hovering around. 

“Tama.”

“Yes?”

“Can you tell me about Gintoki?”

“I see that Gintoki-sama told you his name. Hijikata-sama, he is the master of this house.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he paused to take a breath, “what exactly is he? Why am I here? Tama, I’ve been here for a month and I know nothing about him. Nothing about why I’m not allowed to leave, nothing about the rumours, or his so-called powers!”

Toushirou ran his hands through his hair, frustrated, “All I have are questions and no answers. Am I supposed to be his prisoner forever?”

He looks into her eyes, pleading for answers. “I cannot punish someone I know nothing about, but I also cannot trust a stranger.”

Tama was silent. 

Toushirou’s shoulder slumped, like he wasn’t getting anything out of her. He stood up to leave, feeling truly exhausted for the first time since he got here.

“Hijikata-sama.”

He stopped. 

“Can you come with me?”

Toushirou wanted to snap at her, irritated by the vague answers he kept getting over the past few weeks, but stopped when he saw the earnest look in Tama’s eyes. He nodded and followed her as she led him downstairs to the bar. She pulled out a bottle of sake.

“Sake in the morning?” 

Tama poured a glass for him. “It was Gintoki-sama’s favourite drink, even though he got drunk easily. He used to come here often.” 

“Mm.” Toushirou didn’t want to interrupt her.

“Gintoki-sama used to come here a lot during the war. I used to work here for Otose-sama. We were always happy with him around. He’s like a beacon, you know? People were just drawn to him. Everyone loved him. Even Gengai-sama.”

The war? So Gintoki fought in the war? 

“Who’s Gengai-sama?”

“An inventor and a mechanic. He was the one who fixed me up and took care of me after. He treated Gintoki-sama like his own after losing his son during the war.

“Gintoki-sama would always leave, and return once in a while with three of his best friends. But there was one time, when the rest of the men who fought in the war returned, but Gintoki-sama and his friends didn’t.” 

Tama paused to refill Toushirou’s glass, “Nobody knew what exactly happened, but we heard that Gintoki-sama and his closest friends fought and he left. They split up after that.”

Gintoki had fought in the war, and it sounded like he was on the joui side. At least now he knew that Gintoki wasn’t an Amanto. Which meant that him being some magical sorcerer was bullshit, right? 

“So what’s with the rumours?”

“Shortly after we heard that he left the war, Gintoki-sama appeared again. He came back with Otose-sama and started living upstairs. He never got close to anyone or let any of us go near him.”

Toushirou raised his eyebrows in question, prompting Tama to continue. 

She watched his reaction as she continued, “Hijikata-sama. The rumours, they are... partially true. Gintoki-sama was responsible for the deaths of some of his comrades. But it was not intentional. He never wanted to hurt them.”

Toushirou narrowed his eyes, “You don’t just kill people without wanting to hurt them.”

“He didn’t kill them on purpose. Otose-sama was the one who started the rumors to keep people out.”

“Why?”

Tama remained silent for a moment, as though she was gathering her thoughts.

“Hijikata-sama, Gintoki-sama is human, but the way the people died is true. It happened during the war after he fought the Enmi. The Enmi are Amanto, a group of sorcerers.”

Toushirou nodded, still following the conversation, and Tama continued to explain.

“Gintoki-sama fought and defeated them, but after that...everyone he touched died.”

She looked wistful, as though recalling her memories. 

“As they died, their hair turned white and their skin wrinkleed as though someone just sucked the life out of them. Gintoki-sama once called it the touch of death.

“Hijikata-sama, every person he touches dies. The deaths that happened, they were only from the time before he came to us, when he didn’t know about the curse.”

_My teacher used to grow white roses at our school garden._

“What happened before he met Otose-san?”

“I don’t know. I only have memories of what happened after I met him. He never told us what happened before, and we never pried.”

She seemed to sense his conflicted thoughts.

“Hijikata-sama, Gintoki-sama is a good man. I hope, all of us hope, that he will find a way to break the curse one day. That was what Gengai-sama wanted for him.”

She looked wistful as she mentioned Gengai’s name, and once again Toushirou found himself wondering how an android could be so human. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Gengai-san?” 

Tama looked away from him. 

“Gengai-sama wanted to help Gintoki-sama break the curse. We couldn’t find anything wrong with his body. Nothing changed. We don’t know how the curse works, science can’t explain it. I think humans call it ‘magic’?” 

“So we started to investigate the curse, the last words the Enmi said. That was when one of Gintoki-sama’s old friends attacked. 

“He tried to protect us, but Otose-sama got hurt. Gintoki-sama...forgot himself and attacked his friend with his bare hands.”

Rage. Toushirou knew what it was like to fall into blind rage. 

“Gengai-sama,” Tama choked, “Gengai-sama stopped Gintoki-sama from touching his friend. He didn’t want Gintoki-sama to use that curse as a weapon against his own friend.”

“How…?”

Tama stopped, and Toushirou was momentarily shocked at the amount of emotion he could see in the android’s eyes as she said, 

“To stop his son’s blind rage, Gengai-sama hugged him. When he hugged him...” she trailed off.

Oh. 

Toushirou thought about the warm hugs from his mother and brother that he loved so much when he was a child. Even the surprise hugs from Kondo were nice sometimes. When he wasn’t pissed off about being grabbed and twirled around by the gorilla-ish man so easily of course.

For something so precious to turn to tragedy, it was too painful to think about. 

“After Gengai-sama’s death, Gintoki-sama isolated himself. Otose-san helped with the rumours to keep people out, and he locked himself up in this town. I insisted on staying behind because I made a promise to Gengai-sama, and Gintoki-sama allowed that because I’m not organic.”

“Then why keep me here?” Toushirou asked. 

“Until we find a way to reverse it, we cannot risk letting anyone else know. It’s a curse, but it’s also a dangerous, destructive power. 

“But if you leave, we won’t stop you.”

“He’d hunt me down.” 

“Even if you run away or send an angry mob after him, he won’t blame you. He lied that day. I think you already know that.”

“So I can leave right now?” 

“Yes, but I hope that you can stay with us for a little longer. It has been a long time since I’ve seen him so alive. This is a humble request from me, please?” 

“What, why?! Why does me being here even matter?”

For the first time, Toushirou saw her hesitate.

“Before Gengai-sama died, we were looking for ways to break the curse and concluded that since there is nothing biologically different, the words in the curse itself may be a hint. There...there is one part of the curse that suggests how it can be broken,” she paused, “and I think it might work, but Gintoki-sama has some reservations."

“What does this have to do with me?”

“I can’t say, Hijikata-sama. It might not work if I do.”

“Then why did you even bother telling me all this?” 

“The curse heals all his wounds, he can’t die. For seven years, I watched him live without truly being alive. This is the first time I’ve seen him genuinely happy, Hijikata-sama.”

A slow death. A curse that killed its wielder through loneliness and guilt. What a heartbreaking existence, Toushirou thought. 

Tama reached forward and held his hands gently, “Hijikata-sama, I know I have no right to ask this of you, when you have done nothing wrong, but please, I beg you not to hate him.”

Toushirou heaved a sigh. “I don’t.” 

“Hmm?”

“I don’t hate him,” he mumbled. Then raising his voice a little bit louder, he said, “I don’t hate him for something he didn’t choose. Nobody deserves that kind of pain.” 

He thought about the day he had blacked out and killed all the men who had hurt his brother.

After all, if Gintoki wasn’t actively trying to hurt the innocent for his own benefit, then who was Toushirou to judge when he himself had blood on his hands?

The girl’s eyes brightened, and she smiled just the slightest bit as she said, “You have a kind soul, Hijikata-sama.” 

Toushirou stared at her in shock as she let his hands go and stood up. 

“He brought you to the rose garden. I've never seen the garden,” Tama added. 

“Didn’t you help with it?”

She shook her head, “No. I just helped him look for information on growing roses. He wanted to do all the work himself.”

Tama paused and her eyes softened as she looked at him, “He treats the garden like it’s his last hope, but he let you in. Hijikata-sama, you may not realise it yet, but you are more precious to Gintoki-sama than the roses.” 

Toushirou turned away in embarrassment. Tama smiled at his reaction and turned to leave.

“Tama.” 

Tama turned around and saw Toushirou looking directly at her.

“Gintoki...wasn’t alone. He had a friend willing to take care of his lazy ass for seven years. I’m sure you kept him sane all these years.” 

Tama felt her core, the closest thing she had to a heart, stir beneath her chest, and a smile warmed her face. 

“Thank you, Hijikata-sama.” 

As Tama left, only one thought ran through her usually data filled mind. 

_Hijikata-sama, you’re perfect for him._

* * *

Gintoki found Hijikata trimming the rose bushes in their garden. 

Since the day he brought Hijikata there, the other man had started to take care of the garden without being asked. Gintoki couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat whenever he walked in to see the man already tending to his beloved roses. 

He was hesitant to bring another person into his private space at first, but with Hijikata, he felt compelled to. 

What used to be just his garden, was now theirs and Gintoki did not regret his decision. 

He stood at the door and continued to watch Hijikata flutter about the garden. His dark hair was tied up in his signature high ponytail and he had rolled up the sleeves of _his_ yukata. 

That was another thing. Hijikata needed more than just the two sets of clothing he had, so Tama had started to pass him Gintoki’s yukata so that he wouldn’t have to wash his own clothing so often. 

Hijikata was lucky that he didn’t know whose clothes he was wearing, but unfortunately Gintoki was very much aware and always felt a tingle in his belly when he saw the other man wear his favourite white yukata with blue swirls. 

Because Gintoki’s broad shoulders meant that his clothes were just a little bit too large on the dark haired man, and there were one too many times he had caught sight of the yukata slipping off one shoulder. 

Gintoki snapped out of his thoughts when he realised that had been standing at the entrance like a creep. He cleared his throat and pretended to walk in again. 

“Oh, you’re here! Sorry, I’ll come back later.”

“That’s fine. Join me? There are a lot of bushes to trim.”

“Ahaha it’s okay, Gin-san doesn’t want to interrupt Hijikata-kun’s hard work.” 

Hijikata narrowed his eyes. “Tsk, you just woke up and you’re going back to sleep again? Do some work!” 

“I’ve been taking care of this garden for years,” Gintoki waved his hand, “I can finally retire and pass over my duties to the younger generation.” 

“Is this why you kidnapped me? To be your gardener?”

“Ah! You’ve figured out my true intentions, I’ve always wanted a gardener. And don’t make up stories, who would kidnap you by choice? You are the one who broke into my house! Just my luck to end up with a nagging wife instead of a hot babe with big boobs.” 

Gintoki emphasised this by grabbing his own chest through the robes. Huh. He squeezed again. Maybe he really should grope himself more. 

“You idiot, who’s your wife?! I’m a man!” 

Gintoki raised an eyebrow and smirked, even though Hijikata couldn’t see it. “ _That’s_ your problem? Fine fine, you can be my nagging husband instead,” he winked. 

He was rewarded when Hijikata’s cheeks exploded in a pink blush. 

“Who wants to be your husband? I haven’t gone crazy yet! Just shut up and help me. Nothing good ever happens once you open your mouth.” Then he threw the extra pair of garden shears straight at Gintoki’s face, though to Hijikata’s disappointment, the other man avoided it gracefully. 

Gintoki sighed, “Okay okay, I’ll help.”

“Good,” Hijikata turned around and started to silently work on the last of the white rose bushes while Gintoki started on the red. 

Gintoki couldn’t help but add, “...Don’t want my husband to feel like I’m not doing anything around the house after all.”

He narrowly avoided a pair of shears aimed directly at his prized balls. 

* * *

Under Hijikata’s strict supervision and sharp eyes, they finally finished trimming all the bushes in the garden and sat on the ground, energy sapped by the heat of the afternoon sun. Gintoki chuckled to himself, thinking about how Hijikata had held him prisoner in his own garden instead. Not that he really minded being trapped in a rose garden with the most beautiful rose right next to him. 

Gintoki shook off his thoughts. Why was he getting so sappy? He had no chance anyway, not with this curse, and not all wrapped up like some kind of mummy. 

Toushirou looked over at Gintoki. His thoughts about the man were all over the place. Even when he first met the man and thought that he was some evil Amanto sorcerer, he had never truly felt anything malicious from him. 

The more time he spent with Gintoki, the closer he felt to the man. It felt like they were similar, yet so different. At first, he had kept his distance, but couldn’t deny that he felt a pull to trust the man.

After listening to Tama, he decided to give in to that pull. He wanted to know more about Gintoki. Toushirou knew what loneliness felt like, he knew what it felt like to feel responsible for hurting someone he cared about, and he couldn’t even imagine the kind of pain Gintoki must have gone through—no—the kind of pain that he must still be going through.

No one should have to live with that pain until the end of their lives. 

Toushirou laid back on the grass, “Hey Gintoki?”

“Yeah?” 

“What will break the curse?” 

He saw Gintoki stiffen from the corner of his eyes. 

“Tama told you?”

“Part of it. It’s not her fault, I was the one who made her tell me.” 

Gintoki let out a resigned huff, “You don’t have to defend her. I knew she was going to tell you if I didn’t.”

Toushirou turned to look at Gintoki and saw nervousness in his eyes, “How much did she tell you?” 

“Not much. She told me about when you followed Otose-san back, the curse...and Gengai-san.” 

“Oh.” 

He watched red eyes turn pained as though Gintoki was waiting for Toushirou to lash out or worse—leave.

“I talked to her two days ago. I’m still here, aren’t I? Can’t get rid of me that easily. I still have a mission to complete.” 

Gintoki’s eyes widened in shock and his stiff demeanor slowly relaxed. He nodded, a soft look in his eyes as he laid down next to Toushirou, making sure to leave enough distance between them to prevent accidental touch. 

“Wait, mission?”

Toushirou was once again glad that Gintoki knew what questions to avoid. He did not feel like explaining out loud why he hadn’t left. 

“I’m from the police, Shinsengumi," he said proudly. "You Joui patriots call us Bafuku dogs.”

“Joui? How did you know that? Did you enter my room?” 

“I figured you were a human and a Joui when Tama said you fought in the war. Calm down, I never entered your room.” From Gintoki’s reaction, it seemed like there was still more Toushirou had yet to learn about the man. He decided to drop it for now. 

“Now that the war is over, there are a lot of city development projects happening. They’re even building some giant ugly tower in the centre of it all. I was only sent here to investigate the rumours because the higher ups want to reclaim Kabukicho for more space and tourism.” 

He paused, looking at Gintoki with a hint of a smile, “Never thought I’d actually find the big bad magician here, and that he’d turn out to just be another lazy pervert.” 

“Oi! This big bad magician can devour you within seconds if he wanted to.” 

Toushirou raised his eyebrows and smirked, feeling playful, “Oh? Go ahead and try. We’ll see who devours who.” 

Gintoki felt his face heat at all the thoughts that flew into his head at the idea of devouring Hijikata. The man looked stunning laying on the ground while wearing his white and blue yukata, surrounded by a landscape of red and white roses. 

“You know, you call me a pervert, but who’s the one strutting around _my_ house wearing _my_ yukata all the time?”

Toushirou sputtered and sat up, “What? This is yours?! I didn’t-Tama gave it to me! Take it back! I don’t want it.”

“Oh? And am I supposed to just take it off you now? I can’t touch you, so maybe you can do a sexy striptease instead,” Gintoki said as his gaze drifted briefly to the exposed shoulder where Hijikata’s yukata had once again slipped off as he sat up in a rush. 

“The only thing being stripped off is your skin, pervert,” he huffed, and made a point of pulling up his yukata to cover himself. Then he folded his arms and glared at Gintoki, giving him the deadliest glare he could muster, glaring at him while his ponytail was messed up from lying on the ground and a face pink with blush. 

Hijikata looked so cute and ridiculous at the same time that Gintoki snorted at the sight. 

“Oi! What are you laughing at?!” 

At Hijikata’s pout, he cracked up in laughter. Not the stifled chuckles he usually let out, but a full, hearty laugh. 

When was the last time he had allowed himself to laugh so freely? 

He watched Hijikata’s angry facade falter and soon the other man started to laugh beside him, flopping to lay back down beside Gintoki. 

When was the last time someone else had laughed with him? 

He felt tears spring up at the corner of his eyes. He was so, so happy. He wanted to hold on to this moment forever. 

Then a thought occurred to him and he felt a chill wash over him. He stopped laughing.

“Hey Hijikata-kun.”

“Yeah?” 

“What are you supposed to do now that you have found me?”

Gintoki wasn’t looking at him, but he could almost feel Hijikata snap back to reality. 

“In my mission, if I find the murderer or the sorcerer, or both, I’m tasked to kill.”

Gintoki held his breath. He knew this was coming, but he couldn’t let Hijikata try. His body would go into auto defense mode. He didn’t doubt Hijikata’s strength, but Gintoki knew he was too strong, too...inhuman. 

A mere man could never win against a demon. 

“But,” Hijikata continued, “I didn’t find some psycho murderer here. I also didn’t find a sorcerer. I told you, all I found was a lazy asshole who can’t even cook his own meals. Oh, and did I mention he’s a pervert?” 

Gintoki whipped his head to look at Hijikata, shocked. Hijikata himself had turned away, but his ears were bright red. 

Gintoki smiled behind the wraps around his face. He carefully placed his hand next to Hijikata’s. Their hands were close, barely a breath away.

“Yeah.”

Hijikata didn’t move his hand away. 

“You did.”

Gintoki closed his eyes, feeling at peace for the first time in seven years. 

Later that day, he noticed another word gone from his skin. 

**Loneliness.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again,
> 
> [Art by Trapid - Twitter](https://twitter.com/trapid_v/status/1318556972640292879?s=20)
> 
> [Art by Trapid - Tumblr](https://trapid-v.tumblr.com/post/632505675505926144/ive-been-meaning-to-draw-hiji-with-a-braid-for)  
> \---------------------------------------------------------  
> Ch 6 - The chapter where Gintoki and Hijikata have a proper convo. They also flirt and I sneaked in some Gintoki chest appreciation because that needs more attention too.
> 
> So in Be Forever Yorozuya, Tama was the one who showed everyone what happened when they lost their memories of Gintoki, so Tama being the one to tell Hijikata what happened was just meant to parallel that. 
> 
> Also, if only Toshi knew how Tama actually “cooks”. xD


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeee things start moving a little faster as we reach the later half of the fic! :D

* * *

“Hey! Wait for me!” 

Toushirou was just about to leave for his usual later afternoon training session when he heard Gintoki call out to him. 

“You actually want to come with me? Have pigs started flying?” 

“Terrible joke. I’m sure there’s some pig-like Amanto out there that can fly.”

Toushirou rolled his eyes, “So? Why the sudden interest?”

Gintoki’s eyes turned up, as though he was grinning behind his disguise. He held up a sword. 

“Let’s spar.”

Toushirou looked at the man holding up a wooden sword and smirked. It had been a while since he had an actual opponent.

“Are you sure that old sword of yours can hold up?”

“Don’t underestimate this one, though it has been a long time since I’ve used it,” Gintoki replied. 

Toushirou huffed out a laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you since you’re rusty. Try to keep up.”

Gintoki looked at him, and Toushirou could see amusement flash through red eyes, “Give me all you’ve got.”

Toushirou had a sinking feeling that Gintoki meant it. 

* * *

Toushirou fell onto his back, panting. How many times had it been? Too many to count. 

He had severely underestimated Gintoki. He could tell that the other man was strong, and Toushirou himself was nowhere near weak, but nothing had prepared him for the way Gintoki fought. 

He was more than able to keep up with Toushirou, predicting and reacting to his movements before Toushirou could react.

He laid on his back sweating profusely, hair messy as it came loose from his ponytail during the fight. When was the last time he had this much of a challenge? Against Sougo maybe, but that kid was downright bloodthirsty even during a sparring session. 

But fighting Gintoki was _exhilarating._ They could read each other's movements, clashing back and forth, picking up on each other's movements and countering them, but even Toushirou couldn't keep up with Gintoki, who fought with the experience, wit and speed of someone who had survived a war.

Toushirou lagged behind just a little, and that was enough for Gintoki to overwhelm him. 

Gintoki also had the physical strength to push him back when their swords clashed. Which spoke a lot about his raw strength as the vice-commander was considered one of the strongest amongst his men. He wondered what it would be like to fight alongside Gintoki, instead of against him. 

“Tired already? I thought I was the lazy one,” Gintoki said cockily.

Toushirou wanted to argue and fight back, but he honestly didn’t think he could keep up with Gintoki for another round. The man was panting, but he definitely wasn’t as worn out as Toushirou. How the fuck did he even keep that kind of speed and stamina up with that ridiculous disguise? Was he even faster without them? 

Toushirou wondered just how strong Gintoki was.

Gintoki shifted to put his sword away and Toushirou thought he saw a hint of silver peeking through the wraps. 

“Ahhh, I’m tired. Can we go back for dinner now? I hope Tama made sweet red beans today.” 

Toushirou was thankful that Gintoki graciously gave him an out. He didn’t think his pride could handle being the one to give up, even though he was clearly the one lying on the floor. 

He sat up, grimacing as some of his hair stuck to his neck. He pulled his hair loose, not missing the way red eyes trailed up his sweaty neck as he gathered his hair to tie it back up again. 

Toushirou felt his face heat, thankful the flush on his face could be blamed on the physical activity. Gintoki wasn’t even trying to hide his gaze anymore, was he? Idiot. 

He cleared his throat, “Yeah. I hope she managed to buy that new brand of mayo she was telling me about the other day. It’s limited edition.”

“It’s a miracle you’re so fit with all that mayo you gulp down,” Gintoki teased. 

“It’s a miracle _you_ aren’t dead from diabetes with all that sugar you eat!”

Gintoki chuckled as Hijikata got up and they started to walk back. He had not been able to stop staring at the beads of sweat that ran down Hijikata’s neck earlier and was sure the other man had noticed, if the way his already red face deepened in colour. 

So now, Gintoki kept his eyes trained on the path in front of them, trying not to let his traitorous eyes trail back to Hijikata again. 

Then he felt something brush his hand over the wraps and panicked, jumping away. 

“No!” 

Hijikata looked at him, confused. Gintoki realised it was just his sword that had brushed against him and relaxed. He tried to brush it off, but Hijikata had latched on. 

“Hey Gintoki, why do you still wear that around me? I already know your secret. I promise I won’t say anything about how you look if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“It’s for your protection, Hijikata-kun,” he started. 

“These hands. All it takes is just one touch from this wretched body to kill someone. These clothes were taken from the Enmi after I defeated them, the wraps protect you if we touch.” 

Hijikata huffed, unsatisfied with the answer, “Do you really need to wrap your head up then? It’s not like I’m going to touch your head.”

“Ehh, what if you try to molest Gin-san after you see how sexy he is?” 

“Tsk. Oi! I’m being serious here.” 

Gintoki sighed. “I’m not ready for you to see me, Hijikata-kun. I know you don’t see me as a killer, but that doesn’t mean I’ve not taken lives. I fought in the war, I’ve killed more during those years than you probably ever will in your entire life,” he paused, looking up at the glare of the evening sun, “I don’t want you to see the face of a demon.” 

They continued walking, and Gintoki felt something brush his hand again. He looked down and saw Hijikata’s hand close to his. 

“A demon doesn’t feel remorse, or regret, or pain,” he paused, “you do.”

“Hijikata-kun, it’s not safe.” 

“You said the bandages protect me, right? As long as there is no direct skin contact?”

“Yes, but-”

Hijikata stopped and turned to look at him, “Then trust me to know what I’m doing. I trust you, don’t I?” 

He slowly moved to hold his hand again. This time, Gintoki didn’t pull away. 

Gintoki watched closely as Hijikata’s hand made contact with his, looking for any signs of the curse. 

Nothing happened. 

Gintoki breathed, allowing himself to feel warmth from another human being through the pieces of cloth that covered his skin. 

He had been deprived of one of the simplest forms of affection for years.

He felt Hijikata hesitantly curl his hand around his and felt his heart squeeze. 

Gintoki didn’t think he deserved this level of trust, but he never wanted to let go. 

* * *

When they arrived back to the house, Tama was already there with dinner. Her eyes drifted down to see their entwined hands and her face lit up. 

The two men let go, embarrassed at being caught holding hands like teenagers. 

“Gintoki-sama, Hijikata-sama, I’m glad you had a good day. Please, take a shower and come have lunch.” 

Gintoki ran off to shower first, sick of the heavy clothing sticking to his skin. 

Tama looked at Toushirou with a huge smile. “Hijikata-sama, I have something special for you. I found the limited edition mayo you wanted. I’ll go get it from the kitchen downstairs! Please wait.”

“Thank you, Tama,” he said calmly. Though he was bursting with excitement on the inside at the thought of trying new mayonnaise. 

Toushirou sat on the couch, waiting for Gintoki to finish up before he went in for his own shower when he noticed Gintoki’s bokuto haphazardly thrown to the floor. 

“Tsk. At least respect your sword, you lazy ass.”

He picked it up and looked around, trying to find a proper stand. Huh. Maybe it wasn’t in the common area? He didn’t recall seeing the sword anywhere in the house either, and he was pretty sure he had explored the entire house already.

Except. 

There was one place Toushirou had not entered. 

He looked towards the closed door, sword in his hands. Should he? Gintoki had told him not to go there, but if he just quickly placed the sword and left, it shouldn’t be a problem? Anyway, he already knew about the curse, right? 

Toushirou stepped closer until he was outside the room. Frankly, he knew the sword was just an excuse, he could have just waited to pass Gintoki the sword, but deep down he was curious. 

He knew curiosity killed the cat and all that, but...satisfaction brought it back, right?

Toushirou bit his lip, not knowing what to expect, and slid the door open silently.

The room was dark, gloomy even. It felt cold and desolate, as though it had been abandoned, except it wasn’t. The only things in the room that looked normal were the futon, the sword stand, and a shelf. 

He felt guilt wash over him, wondering if he should just leave. Maybe this emptiness was what Gintoki didn’t want him to see, because his room reflected the state of his heart.

Toushirou walked further in and placed the sword on the stand, intending to just walk back out and apologise to Gintoki for intruding. He was sure the man would forgive him if he was honest.

As he turned to walk back out, his eyes caught a glimmer of something red on the shelf and turned towards it.

The rose. 

It was the same rose he had picked up on his first day. The rose that was still alive even though it was uprooted. 

Toushirou couldn’t resist the urge to get closer and walked to the shelf, captivated by how perfect it looked. It was the deepest blood red he had ever seen on a rose, and its stem was filled with thorns.

When he neared the shelf, that’s when he spotted a photo frame face down, right beside the rose. 

He lifted it and that was when he realised it was a mistake. 

It was a photo of a group of children in front of a building. It looked like a school photo? The person in the middle was scratched out, and the image of one of the children almost looked as if it was clawed out in anger. 

There were wisps of silver, hair on the clawed out image? He couldn’t tell because of how destroyed the photo was.

The two other children in the middle looked oddly familiar, but he couldn’t place a name to their faces. 

“ **What are you doing?!** ”

Toushirou jumped, dropping the frame he held. He heard it crack.

Fuck.

Toushirou had been so focused on the rose and the photo that he forgot he was supposed to leave. 

“Gintoki, I’m sor-”

He turned around to see Gintoki. Gintoki fresh out of the shower and without his robes. 

Toushirou felt his breath catch as he took in the silver hair that reflected the light of the setting sun and red eyes clouded over with anger.

Gintoki was beautifully terrifying. 

Red eyes drifted to the photo frame he dropped and Toushirou’s heart sank. 

“One rule. I had one rule and you broke it,” his voice was low, as though he was trying to contain his emotions. 

He shot forward, grabbing the broken frame from the ground, holding it protectively without looking at Toushirou. 

Toushirou wanted to explain, he wanted to apologise.

“Wait, I was wrong. I’m sorry, let me expl-!”

“Get out.” 

Toushirou stared at him. “What?” 

“Leave. I said get out. GET OUT!” Gintoki roared, face contorted with rage. 

_The face of a demon._

Toushirou felt his heart run cold.

For the first time since he stepped into this district, he felt genuine fear. 

And Toushirou ran. 

He ran to his room and grabbed everything he had. He saw Shiro standing next to his bag, mewing sadly. The cat seemed to pick up on his distress. 

He felt his eyes tear up. What was he even thinking? That just because they held hands, Gintoki liked him enough to give him a free pass to all his secrets?

He thought he understood the man, felt some bullshit connection when he knew nothing about him. He was the demon vice-commander of the Shinsengumi, but Gintoki’s rage had chilled him to the bone. He had never seen him so angry before. Actually, he had never seen Gintoki angry at all. 

Toushirou’s heart hurt at the thought of being the one to incite that amount of rage.

He had even told Gintoki that he trusted him and held his hand. What a joke. It was one-sided on his part and the other man didn’t trust him. Why would he? 

Maybe it was all just in his head because he had been here for too long, spending time in some fucking rose garden thinking they had bonded.

He wiped angry tears from his eyes. Life wasn’t some kind of fairytale where you fall in love just like that.

Toushirou paused at his thoughts. Love? Where did that come from? 

He shook his head, he really had been here for too long.

Shiro meowed at him again and moved to sit on his bag, preventing him from picking it up. His voice choked as he said, “I can’t stay here anymore, Shiro. I messed up. He told me to leave.”

Toushirou gently picked Shiro up, holding him close to his chest and kissed his tiny pink nose. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

He couldn’t stay there anymore, he had to leave. He had been here for too long, living in some kind of dream, forgetting about his life beyond Kabukicho, and now he had been snapped back to reality. 

Even if all he wanted to do was stay and apologise and fix things, Gintoki had commanded him to leave. 

He set Shiro down carefully, picked his bag up and ran, bumping into Tama on the way down. 

“Hijikata-sama, what-!”

But he couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. 

So he continued to run. Out of the house, and out of Gintoki’s life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: What was that saying again? Oh yes, curiosity killed the ~~Kat~~ cat. ;)
> 
> The end was a little tough to write, I wanted the scene where Beast rages at Belle and she runs away, but I had to change the way it worked because at this point in the fic, Hijikata has already bonded with Gin and learnt about his past, compared to Belle at that point in the story, so it didn’t really make sense for him to backtrack and think that Gin is a complete jerk. 
> 
> So I wrote it this way instead. Hope it doesn’t seem too forced. ><
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an update. :D

* * *

Gentle tunes from the shamisen filled the air as the group sat around their hideout.

“I’m glad we’re finally back! I can’t stand space, it’s so dark everywhere.” 

“Shinsuke-sama, joui activity has reduced ever since the Shinsengumi was appointed.” 

“But the vice-commander was sent away on a mission to hunt down a sorcerer.”

The man leading the group inhaled from his kiseru as he broke his silence and asked,

“Sorcerer?” 

“Yes Shinsuke-sama. There are rumours of a sorcerer living in Kabukicho. Word is that the sorceror kills by rapidly aging the victims, almost like their life is sucked out of them.”

Shinsuke stiffened, kiseru inches away from his lips. 

“It’s a terrible crime, he should make them younger instead.”

“Give the lolicon tendencies a rest, senpai.”

“I’m not a lolicon, I am a feminist.”

Shinsuke turned to look at his group. Bansai stopped playing his instrument.

“Kiheitai, change of plans.” 

* * *

Tama rushed into Gintoki’s room, carrying the bottle of mayo that Hijikata had been so excited about. She saw Gintoki slumped on the floor, staring at the photo frame in his hands. His hands were shaking and his eyes were bloodshot, as though he was trying to hold back tears. 

“Gintoki-sama! Hijikata-sama-”

“I know, you don’t have to tell me that I’m a horrible person. I-I saw this break and lost myself. I forgot who I was even looking at.”

He ran his hand across the cracked glass, I’ll apologise to him later. I just...need some time.”

“Hijikata-sama left.”

“I know. I told him to leave. I went off on him, Tama. He came in here and I told him to get out of my room so cruelly. If you saw his face,” Gintoki’s voice choked, “he was terrified. _Of me_.”

Tama shifted closer and settled on the bed next to Gintoki, hoping to offer a little bit of comfort to the man as she said her next words. 

“Gintoki-sama, I meant that Hijikata-sama left. Permanently. He packed all his things and left the house.” 

Gintoki finally looked up at her, eyes wet with unshed tears, “What?” 

“He just ran out of the house with his things.”

Gintoki scrambled to his feet, his heart pounding. When he had shouted at Hijikata to leave, he meant his room! Not out the house. 

Not out of his life. 

He looked out of the window. It was late and the streets were usually prowling with all sorts of wildlife that had made the deserted district their home. Night was when some of the more dangerous predators hunted. It was one of the reasons why he set a rule to never leave the house after dinner.

If Hijikata hated him and wanted to leave, he wouldn’t stop him. Not anymore. But right now it wasn’t safe. 

He needed to keep Hijikata _safe_. 

Gintoki rushed out, intending to search for Hijikata. He couldn’t have gotten that far, right? He had come here by car, so leaving on foot would take a much longer time. 

“Gintoki-sama, wait! I can try to look for him.”

“How?”

“He’s wearing your yukata. Gengai-sama placed nano trackers in your clothing, so I can attempt to locate him.”

“Okay good, do I-. Wait! Why did he plant tracking chips in my clothes?!”

“He thought that you would run away from us and disappear one day. I promised Gengai-sama that I will track you down and drag you back on his behalf if you do. 

Gintoki opened his mouth, fully ready to argue when Tama interrupted.

“That is not important right now, Gintoki-sama. You have to find Hijikata-sama.”

“Okay, track him down,” Gintoki wasn’t going to drop the tracking chips matter, but she was right. Hijikata was his priority now. 

Tama went silent as she started to track Hijikata. Gintoki got himself ready, wearing the same outfit, to protect Hijikata from any accidental touches.

“I found him, but he doesn’t seem to be moving,” and she drew a map to point out the location and handed it to him. 

Not moving? Please, no...not him. Gintoki could feel his heart pounding. He needed to find Hijikata fast. 

Tama looked at him carefully, “He could just be resting, Gintoki-sama.” 

“Thank you,” Gintoki said as he ran out the door and headed towards Hijikata’s favourite training ground in Kabukicho.

* * *

Toushirou was tired. He had run away, fully intending to leave the cursed district before he remembered that his car was almost out of fuel when he arrived. 

Yamazaki better have nine lives because he was going to need all of them when he got back.

It was too late for him to leave Kabukicho and wander around, trying to find another ride, so he decided to find shelter to spend the night. 

The only problem was that he had forgotten how spooky the empty town was. He had gotten so comfortable with Gintoki, and always stuck to his routine of going back ~~home~~ to Gintoki's place before dinner, that walking through the lonely, foggy streets with only the moonlight to guide his way gave him the chills. 

A gust of wind blew, and Toushirou shuddered as goosebumps prickled his skin.

He needed to find a place fast. Not because he was scared of course.

He decided to head to the barracks that he used as his training grounds. The compound reminded him of the Shinsengumi barracks, and he knew he would feel more comfortable spending the night there. 

Toushirou finally entered through the rundown gates and found a room that looked decent enough to settle down in. He had just put his bag down, rubbing his hands to warm himself up when he suddenly heard growling behind him.

He paused, remembering Gintoki’s warning about walking around at night. 

He slowly placed one hand on his sword, listening to the wild growls get closer as he steadied his breath. 

He turned around to see a giant, dirty white fluffy dog glaring at him with its lips pulled back in a snarl, baring its large teeth. It was massive, towering over him easily. Toushirou was sure his entire head would fit in that mouth.

Wild dogs usually only attacked if they or their pack felt threatened or if someone encroached on their territory, but it didn’t look like the dog had made its home here, so he wasn’t sure what he did to trigger its protective instincts. 

He didn’t want to kill the animal if possible, so he left his sword sheathed, hoping that he would be able to chase it away with just a few knocks if it did try to attack. 

They stared at each other. 

Toushirou wavered. He was supposed to stare a feral dog down, right? Or was that with lions? Fuck. He wasn’t an expert on wild animals.

Then he heard it. Soft whines from the opposite corner of the room. He could see a tiny blob of...something wriggling. He watched the large dog glare at him as it walked towards the whining and stood defensively in front of the blob. 

Oh. 

His eyes got used to the dark and he could make out a tiny, whimpering figure peeking out from behind the large dog. 

A puppy. 

Looking at the way the puppy struggled to stand, Toushirou was sure the puppy was extremely weak, struggling to move.

No wonder the large dog was so aggressive, it was protective of the frail puppy. 

Toushirou slowly knelt down, trying to make himself appear less threatening. He reached into his bag, watching the larger dog through his peripheral vision for any sudden movements, and pulled out a bag of dried meat, and saw two pairs of ears perk up in interest. 

He would have offered mayonnaise, but he remembered Shiro’s reaction to it and wasn’t sure how he would handle it if these two dogs rejected his precious mayonnaise as well. A broken heart twice in one day would be too much for even the demon vice commander.

He opened the bag, careful not to make any quick movements and rolled the jerky over. 

The white dog sniffed at the jerky suspiciously before deeming them safe, and relaxed its stance, turning around to push the food to the small puppy. 

It turned around to let out a bark of approval before settling down to face the puppy.

“Hey, I have more, you don’t have to give everything to your friend,” Toushirou said as he opened another packet and slid the pieces over, smiling as the large dog brightened and started devouring the food. 

Toushirou felt himself relax and sat down. He should probably move to another room, but he didn’t want to risk any sudden movements and incurring the dog’s wrath again.

He sat in silence, watching the two dogs and thinking about how cute they looked, when he saw one of the pieces of meat tossed back to him. The larger dog stared at him expectantly, did the dog want him to eat it? 

Toushirou took a bite and the dog relaxed and laid on the ground, looking satisfied. 

He started to fall asleep when he felt something soft and wet touch his hand. He looked down to see the brave little puppy sniffing him out, the giant dog watching the interaction carefully. 

Why was the puppy limping so much? 

He hesitantly stroked the puppy with one finger, feeling its soft fur. The puppy seemed to like the feeling and leaned into his touch, and decided to settle down next to him, breathing heavily. 

Then he saw it. 

A large bite wound on its leg. 

No wonder the dogs looked so disheveled and dirty, they must have run into another animal on the hunt, and looking at the bleeding wound, the puppy had probably barely managed to escape. 

Toushirou rummaged through his bag, pulling out his first aid supplies. 

He pulled the tiny body into his lap, examining the wound. Luckily it didn’t look like it needed stitches, so he got to work gently cleaning the wound, whispering soft words of comfort and stroking the soft fur as the puppy wriggled and whimpered in discomfort. 

When he was finally done, he wrapped it up to stop the puppy from bleeding out overnight, and pulled out his uniform jacket from his bag to lay the exhausted pup on, letting the dog place a tiny, sleepy lick on his finger before it drifted off to sleep. 

Well, now he could finally rest for the night. He leaned back, expecting a cold, hard wall, but instead, he was surprised to find himself laying on soft, white fur. 

He turned to see the large dog staring down at him with wide eyes, before smacking a giant, sloppy, lick all over his face. 

That was disgusting. 

The dog then settled down, curling up around him like a giant, fluffy pillow.

...But cute. Why were animals so cute? 

Toushirou snuggled into the warm fur and made himself comfortable, hoping to get some rest before finding his way back the next day. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, with a tiny puppy nestled right next to him, and a giant, fluffy white dog curled protectively around them both.

* * *

Gintoki was panting hard. He had run all the way to the old, abandoned barracks where he had trained with Hijikata earlier in the day. He hoped that Tama was right. That Hijikata’s tracker was only still because he was resting, and not because he was hurt. 

Once in the barracks, he walked towards the only room with the door left open. Why would the door be open? Even if there was no one around, Hijikata would close the door before going to sleep right? It wasn’t safe to leave it open!

Gintoki stepped into the room, preparing himself for the worst…

...and found Hijikata sleeping peacefully with a tiny puppy cuddled next to him and the giant furball he had seen hanging around town surrounding him.

Adorable. 

Gintoki closed the door and sat down next to Hijikata and the dogs.

He felt a tail whack him, and Gintoki looked up to see large dark gray eyes watching him carefully. The dog sniffed him before seeming to deem him safe and went back to sleep.

Gintoki took the chance to gaze at Hijikata, and heart broke when he saw that the other man’s eyelids looked slightly red and swollen, as though he had been crying. 

Moonlight streamed in through the windows and cast a soft glow on Hijikata’s face, making the beautiful man even more captivating. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to the sleeping beauty. Gintoki decided that he was going to tell Hijikata everything. He knew he was being selfish, he should have just let the man go, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t let Hijikata leave thinking that Gintoki hated him. 

Not when the truth was the opposite.

He leaned back against the wall and waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven’t updated this in a while. I had this chapter and the next one written out since before I even posted the first chapter of this fic, but I took a long time because I wasn’t happy with it, and there were things I wanted to change. 
> 
> I struggle to write Takasugi and the Kiheitai, so I hope I don’t end up writing them completely horribly. ><
> 
> Also, I wanted to finish writing out the rest of the fic, but I have just been up to my neck in work sigh. Still, while I haven’t finished writing the fic, I wanted to give this an update for those who are still following this fic! 
> 
> I have written out the final chapter heh. It’s just a few of the chapters in between that need to be fleshed out. :D 
> 
> Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always, I’d love to know what you think! <3  
> \-----------
> 
> Side note: A lovely reader commissioned art of ponytail Hijikata after reading one of my other fics. Toshi looks STUNNING in the art and you can view it here: [Hijikata with a ponytail](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250739/chapters/71451678#workskin)
> 
> \-----------
> 
> Follow me on Twitter (18+): [@curiouskatxx](https://twitter.com/curiouskatxx?s=09)
> 
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> 
> Ask me questions anonymously: [CuriousKat’s curious cat](https://curiouscat.qa/curiouskatxx)

**Author's Note:**

> For fic updates:
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: [@curiouskatxx](https://twitter.com/curiouskatxx?s=09)
> 
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